Probably negative reviews

What kind of a moron rides through a zombie apocalypse on horseback?

Sam Johnson

More stories from Sam Johnson

The Tator
December 13, 2022

Another week of quarantine means another potentially harsh zombie movie review. This week we shift to what might be considered the most notable contemporary zombie media.

“The Walking Dead” is a hit zombie series that has appeared on AMC since 2010.

I have never watched more than an episode or two of the series, so, outside of people fighting zombies, I have no clue what the show is about.

This week, “Probably negative reviews” will cover the pilot episode.

Rick Grimes, played by Andrew Lincoln, is a sheriff deputy and the main focus of the episode.

The series wastes no time, displaying their first zombie within the first four minutes: a little girl with braces.

It is rare to see something unique and new in a zombie show or film, but a zombie with braces is something I can safely say is new to me.

All things considered, the pilot does exactly what it is supposed to do.

It reveals information, provides a driving force for the season and is intriguing enough to make the viewer want to keep watching.

It also ends on a ridiculously suspenseful cliffhanger. After writing this review I may have to turn the show back on just to see if our hero survives his current predicament.

Grimes goes into a coma after a car chase results in him getting shot. Then, he wakes up and discovers a zombie apocalypse is underway. I find this storyline to be somewhat ridiculous.

A zombie apocalypse happens. The hospital Grimes is in gets trashed and then abandoned, leaving Grimes there in a peaceful slumber.

I think either someone would have moved him, or some zombies would have eaten him. It seems incredible that he is left entirely alone and is completely safe.

Other than some wilting flowers, his room is entirely untouched. The rest of the hospital is riddled with bullet holes, corpses and blood writing on the wall.

The blood writing on walls is something else I take issue with. 

I get that people are dying and zombies are eating stuff, so there is likely blood everywhere. Yet, who decided to grab a paintbrush or dip their hand in and write a message.

It feels too convenient for me — like the messages were left there purely for Grimes to discover and were painted in blood for the shock factor alone.

Based on the pilot alone, the series relies way too much on shock and gore. In a movie that tactic may work, but, in my opinion, blood and guts have a shelf life and a series lacks sustainability if being gross is one of the driving forces.

Obviously, given that the series now spans a decade, either I am wrong or the show found other ways to keep the audience captivated.

My final complaint is the stupidity of Grimes at the end of the episode. He has a cop car but he stops at a farm on his way to the city, opting to go on horseback instead.

This is baffling to me. The only reason it makes sense is if he was running out of gas. It also sets up the cliffhanger ending. 

Even then, I would rather run out of gas than trust an animal to stay calm in a zombie apocalypse.

The series has had great success, but I’m not sure how a zombie show could have a decade’s worth of content in it.

If a zombie apocalypse were to last that long, it would have to eventually become mundane.

Johnson can be reached at [email protected]