Probably negative reviews

‘Tall Girl’ is as bland as the title suggests

Sam Johnson

More stories from Sam Johnson

The Tator
December 13, 2022

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The general tone of “Tall Girl” comes off as extremely ignorant and sheltered.

Many movies attempt to tackle social issues in a constructive way. Movies such as “BlacKkKlansman,” “12 Years a Slave” and “Battle of the Sexes” discuss racism, slavery and sexism. “Tall Girl” attempts to deal with a different form of adversity.

The movie stars Jody Kreyman, played by Ava Michelle. She is a 6-foot-1 high schooler. According to the film, this is a very legitimate issue. 

She deals with debilitating issues such as short guys, a dad who wishes she was shorter and people who make fun of each other.

At the heart of the movie is a message of acceptance and self-love. 

Unfortunately, this admirable message is buried behind cheesy dialogue, predictability and the most laughable central conflict I know. 

During one of the least enjoyable cinematic experiences of my life, I almost convinced myself “Tall Girl” is a satire, deceptively making fun of high school romances, first world problems and Netflix original movies.  

Unfortunately, the sincere tone and nauseatingly heartfelt happy ending convinced me otherwise.

For starters, 6-foot-1 is not an unnatural height. It is above average, but not worthy of an entire movie treating it as though real people would see it as a disability or birth defect.

The general tone of the movie comes off as extremely ignorant and sheltered.

The audience is expected to pity Kreyman while she complains to her best friend Freeda — played by Anjelika Washington, a member of an actual marginalized group — about how hard her life is.

I nearly turned the film off after Kreyman said one of the most unbelievable quotes I have ever heard.

“You think your life is hard? I wear size 13 Nikes … men’s,” Kreyman said in a voiceover.

As though wearing a shoe size that can be found in every shoe store I’ve ever set foot in should be seen as adversity.

If I learned anything from this movie, it was that being a blonde, skinny, white, 6-foot-1 girl living in an upper-middle-class American household is way harder than I originally thought.

Outside of the general ignorance and cheesiness of a girl claiming to be marginalized because people ask her “how’s the weather up there?,” the other aspects of the movie are not superb.

The plot was uninteresting and predictable. She has a friend, Jack Dunkleman, played by Griffin Gluck, who has been in love with her for years. 

She ignores him because Stig Mohlin — a Swedish foreign exchange student played by Luke Eisner — arrives at school and is blonde, handsome and taller than her.

Kreyman falls for Mohlin, fights with her friends then concludes the movie by kissing Dunkleman.

The lesson she learned was that tall guys are not necessarily good guys and she belongs with a supportive long-time friend.

Many of the characters went through character development that must have happened off-screen.

Her dad and sister — played by Steve Zahn and Sabrina Carpenter, respectively — go from being immature and self-absorbed to supportive and mature with no explanation.

The acting effort from Gluck, Washington and Angela Kinsey, Kreyman’s mom, was the highlight of the movie.

Kreyman and Mohlin, on the other hand, were unimpressive. Both lacked emotion and characteristics, appearing inexperienced.

Mohlin’s Swedish accent is executed without an ounce of subtlety. He sounds closer to Spongebob’s Leif Erikson day accent than any Swedish human.

“Tall Girl” is a Netflix Original movie, which means despite a 44% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and a 5.2 on IMDB, there will likely be a sequel rushed out with little thought put into it.

Johnson can be reached at [email protected].