The official student newspaper of University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire since 1923.

The Spectator

The official student newspaper of University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire since 1923.

The Spectator

The official student newspaper of University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire since 1923.

The Spectator

    All-time losing streak belongs to Cleveland

    I have to admit that I’m still on a Super Bowl high. Every other team I like can be awful and it won’t matter to me. Well, it won’t bother me for a month, but right now, everything is great sports-wise.

    I don’t even mind that the Bucks suck as bad as they do, and believe me, they do. Some high school teams shoot better than the deer. All I have to do is think of Aaron Rodgers’ championship belt and I’m fine.

    Fans of the Cleveland Cavaliers cannot do the same thing. Their Browns didn’t just win a Super Bowl. They probably won’t in the foreseeable future either. Nope, they have to focus entirely on the Cavs. To quote our esteemed Currents editor, Eric Christenson, “Woof.”

    It’s probably well known that the Cavs have now lost more consecutive games than any other team in history. That’s 26 straight. In fact, they only have one win in their previous 36 games. That’s Shaq in “Kazaam” bad. That’s me trying to draw bad.

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    ESPN has a special section on their website for the worst teams. This is either really great or really sadistic. Greatly sadistic even … no that’s weird, it’s one or the other.

    Anyway, I have good news for Cleveland: They more than likely cannot be the worst team of all time. They would have to lose out to be worse than the ’72-’73 76ers, who had nine wins. Hooray!
    I have faith that they will get at least one more win. It may just be one more, but as God as my witness, they will win one more. Guaranteeing two may be dangerous though. I don’t want to be
    struck down.

    Again, referring to the ESPN feature, that 76ers team had just four wins through 52 games and the Cavs currently have eight. They are light-years better at this point. Basically night and day and other such clichés … sorry, I couldn’t take that seriously any more.

    They both stink like Tom Haverford’s girlfriend in “Parks and Recreation.”

    In all honesty, it is hard to compare the two time periods, but crap is crap whether its short shorts or baggy ones.

    The most recent example of crap was the New Jersey Nets from just last year.

    God, is this going to be a yearly thing with the NBA? I mean if all the best players go to the same teams, such as what may happen with Carmelo going to the Lakers, maybe this is inevitable, but I digress.

    That Nets team won just 12 games. I just found the Cavs a new goal! I think they can achieve 12 wins at least. I’m not sure how, but the Packers have made me optimistic. I’m not even being that flippant here. You have to have something to work for or you might as well quit.

    The one person in all of this that I really don’t care about is owner Dan Gilbert. You know, the owner who sent that tear-streaked message about how Lebron broke ruined his multimillionaire life or something. I can’t remember exactly.

    But Gilbert deserves this in a Karmic sense. I’m not defending LeBron’s “I’m the greatest person ever to live” press conference announcing his choice (I’m not using the actual word). However, Gilbert’s response may have actually been worse.

    Despite baby Gilbert’s inherent jerkiness, I still wish Cleveland the best and hope they can have one of their teams be decent at some point.

    Oh and don’t worry, I won’t be this optimistic once I come down from the Packer’s High.

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    All-time losing streak belongs to Cleveland