Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18)
Your pen is going to run out of ink in class tomorrow. Make sure you’re prepared with a replacement.

Pisces (Feb. 19 – Mar. 20)
Don’t go see that movie this weekend with your friends, it’s going to be beyond boring. Not to mention a big fat waste of nine bucks!

Aries (Mar. 21 – Apr. 19)
Oh, Aries, you rock my world. If you think your friend is mad at you, they aren’t. Who could ever get mad at you? Just stay awesome and nothing can go wrong.

Taurus (Apr. 20 – May 20)
You will be approached by an officer this weekend. He’s not going to be entirely sure if you’re drunk or not, so play it cool and you might get away with it. Slip up, and you’re going to be stuck with a hefty fine.

Gemini (May 21 – June 21)
Your significant other is cheating on you with your best friend.

Cancer (June 22 – July 22)
Take a different path to school tomorrow than you usually do. You will find money on the ground with your name on it (not literally of course).

Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22)
If you think you’re a good singer, you aren’t … you’re amazing. Contact a producer ASAP, since the new season of American Idol already began. If you don’t move fast, you just might lose your chance.

Virgo (Aug. 23- Sept. 22)
You need to take up a new hobby. Not something lame like building model airplanes or collecting stamps, though. How about learning to juggle, on a unicycle, blindfolded?

Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)
Stay away from that creeper at the bars this weekend. Your intuition will tell you something is wrong, and something is. Run when you meet them, seriously.

Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)
You love animals and need to do something about it. How about heading to the nearest zoo as soon as you can to catch a glimpse of all the cutest critters? Warning: stay away from the penguin cages; they stink.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)
I know what you did last summer.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)
Someone is going to choke on their food the next time you are in a restaurant. Touch up on your skills with the Heimlich maneuver and you’ll become a hero overnight. Who knows, you might even get the key to the city!