Dear Ask Anything,
ÿ
I’ve heard that since the Oscars are done with, the next few months are going to be slow for good movies. What is a movie you’d like to see in theaters?
– Film Freak
ÿ
Dear Freak,
ÿI decided that the best way to come up with the perfect movie plot is to do it randomly. After many nights of playing the board gameÿReel Clues with my roomies and seeing the hilarious combinations that resulted, I can tell you this is a surefire way to create the best film.
ÿSo I went to www.maddogproductions.com, and filled out the form for the next blockbuster movie. Here is a synopsis of the plot:
“Ask Anything, the Movie”
An original screenplay concept
By Erica and Ali
Political thriller: A precocious child teams up with a well-built female cyborg to discover America. In the process, they are locked in a haunted house withÿfour British men on welfare. By the end of the movie, they hijackÿ76ÿcable cars and end up winning the admiration of their world, living happily ever after.
Think Die Hard meets Josie and the Pussycats.
Totally rockin’, eh? I would totally stand in line for weeks outside the theater to see this. I’m guessing that’s partially because I created it, but I know you’ll love it too.
Dear Ask Anything,
How does a girl get around the parking enforcement people on campus? I feel like I’m single-handedly paying for parking renovations.
– Sick of Citations
Dear Sick,
Let me tell you, I know how you feel. Just last week I got three meter violation tickets. But I blame that solely on my job at The Spectator and the fact that the 20-minute meters behind Hibbard are very enticing when you’re just stopping in the office.
Between you and me, and the amount we pay to the parking office, there should be a parking ramp by next fall.
One way I avoid tickets is by memorizing the rules for each of the lots on campus. For example, anyone can park in the ‘F’ spots in the Hibbard Lot anytime after 3 p.m.
Also, on Garfield Avenue, there is no longer a two-hour restriction on street parking, so that’s open all day for those without ‘S’ permits.
For those of us with ‘S’ permits, the best bet is parking in the Water Street or Haas lots. I’ve never seen these lots full, and it beats circling the Phillips lot for hours.
So yeah, there are ways around getting tickets. Follow the rules, and you’ll be fine.
Otherwise get a cloaking device for your car and park wherever you want. I’m working on creating one right now, and as soon as I get it to work, I’ll get back to you with my pricing list.
Ask anything is a weekly question and advice column. Alison Pelleymounter and Erica Dakins are alternating columnists.
