The Tator

Joe Biden: ‘I was sorry to hear Japanese Governor Kim Jong-un hit his head last week, I hope he gets better’

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(Disclaimer: This article is satire and is not meant to be taken seriously. It does not reflect the views of The Spectator or UW-Eau Claire.)

Presidential candidate Joe Biden seemed to split his party’s support with a statement he made last week.

Biden released a video remembering the North Korean dictator. The video showed many images of Kim Jong Un with the song “Angel” by Sarah McLachlan playing in the background.

“Japan’s economy would not be where it was today without his brave ideas and unstoppable work ethic,” Biden said. “He made it his mission to make sure everyone in Thailand had a roof over their heads and food on the table.”

Biden’s odd statements did not end there, as he could never seem to pinpoint where Kim Jong Un was from, or anything accurate about him. 

“Former president Lincoln and I did some great work with him and the entire Chinese government and as president, I will keep the good ties with Singapore strong,” Biden said.

Biden’s campaign manager removed the video from Twitter and Biden has lost the ability to use his own account. 

Confusion has broken out within the Democratic Party as they worry on how the Democratic nominee could mess up so badly. 

Brianna Conklin, a third-year political science student and leader of the College Democrats club at UW-Madison, said she is worried for America’s future with how November’s election is shaping up. 

“Any fears about Joe Biden’s mental health that people held have now been confirmed,” Conklin said. “The man is not fit for office and the incumbent isn’t either, so what are we as Americans supposed to do?”

Conklin is worried if college students will feel less obligated to vote now and she says that voting is paramount in making sure Donald Trump is removed from office.

“Biden is basically just a body with no brain at this point, but that is better than Donald Trump right now,” Conklin said. “College kids need to see this or we’ll be stuck with four more years of this.”

Not all Democrats can be swayed by Joe Biden, as his antics have led to some people on the left moving over the party line a little bit.

This is the case for Deborah Smith, a physical therapist in Madison. 

“I was a full-fledged Biden supporter up until a few days ago, but now it’s clear to me that the man could not help America during this pandemic,” Smith said. “Say what you will about Trump, but at least he seems to care about everyone, including his opposers.”

Smith said she would rather have someone in office who cares over someone who cannot remember that Kim Jong Un is the dictator of Indonesia.

Doyle can be reached at [email protected]