One girl’s expedition into the uncharted territory of being a fully functioning member of society

Whoops, it turns out alarms just aren’t enough

More stories from Faith Hultman


I made a lot of claims in my column last week, and by a lot of claims I mean one. I said I was going to wake up at 7:00 a.m. every day. Suffice to say, it didn’t work out.

It’s easy to say you are going to get up early when it’s the afternoon and you’re not in sight of the actual slice of heaven that is your bed. It’s not so easy to do when it’s 7 a.m. and you can actually hear the angels telling you to hit snooze, roll over and go back to sleep.

I’ve never been a morning person. The first two hours of my day are usually spent in a haze of rage at the world, trying to convince myself that things will get better, despite the exhaustion weighing down my entire being.

It doesn’t matter how much sleep I get, it’s never enough. I’m sure there are a million people out there who can relate.

Why wake up at 7 a.m. when class isn’t until 11:00 a.m.? A question for the ages, but especially one to ponder three seconds before you decide not to wake up early.

However, never let it be said that I’m a quitter. I won’t let this week of failure bring me down. I’m on a quest to get it together, so in the spirit of developing self-control and growing as a person, I am repeating the early morning wakeup method this week.

One tiny difference: this week I am going to wake up at 6 a.m. Every. Single. Day.

I mean it this time. My friend Jenna, who is studying abroad in Spain and who is therefore in a different time zone, is going to call me every morning at six and force me out of bed.

I’ll sleep on the floor if I have to. I’ll sleep without blankets in my 60 degree room. This experiment is going to work, or I’m going to spend the rest of my life cuddling under my blankets while slowly wasting away under the weight of my procrastination and lack of time management skills.

There are so many hours in the morning to be spent doing responsible activities such as homework or making breakfast. People who have their lives together know how to utilize these precious hours, and I won’t be any different.

This foreign world of functionality is proving hard to break into, but mark my words, it will happen.

This week is the week it all comes together, I can feel it coming. Kind of like The Weeknd, but actually not at all like that.

Does it work? Is this the week I turn myself around for good? We’ll find out. It’s a desperate world out there folks; stay on top of it.