Check your day rating: 10 is an easy day, 0 is a challenging one.

Aries (March 21-April 19)
Today is a 2. Stay in your dorm or room, and don’t come out. If you must, wear a helmet and carry a bat, preferably made of metal. Best of luck.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Today is a 9. Keep an eye out as you are walking to class you may find some money, maybe $100. Or it could be a penny. Look and see.

Gemini (May 21-June 21)
Today is a 5. Don’t make any decisions. No, seriously. For lunch, ask your fork. For quiz answers, ask your pencil. These will be the your tools to success.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)
Today is a 3. You probably woke up on the wrong side of the bed. If it’s raining, you forgot your umbrella. If you do have your umbrella, you will forget it somewhere or someone will steal it. You better keep a close eye on that.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Today is a 8. You know that attractive person that sits next to you in class? Ask them out for coffee. This is the best timing you will ever have. Make sure you don’t have anything in your teeth.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Today is a 3. You may have done poorly on that quiz, but you didn’t fail. You may have tripped, but you didn’t fall down. Look at it this way. You could be an Aries.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Today is a 4. If you survived the 0 yesterday, congratulations. Treat yourself to a cup of coffee. Avoid the barista with the blonde hair. If you order from her, she will spit in your cup.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Today is a 9. Even if it’s cloudy outside, the sun is shining in your eyes. Ignore the angry religious man outside calling you a whore for your short skirt. We’re all children in God’s eyes.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21
Today is a 10. Do anything you want, this is your perfect day. Skip that class, your professor won’t take attendance. Profess your love to your crush, he or she will welcome you with open arms. Just remember, today is 10, not tomorrow.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Today is a 6. Your life is full of ups and downs, and today is a rollercoaster. You may fall down the stairs on the way out of class, but you passed that test you thought you failed. Or maybe both happened. Or maybe neither did. Well, maybe today is more like a flat highway instead of a rollercoaster.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Today is a 5. The day will begin well, but end poorly. You have seven hours from the time you wake up. The last three you are awake, you should hide in the closet with Pisces.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Today is a 1. Do not wake up. If you are reading this, go home and hide in your closet. Do not answer your phone, talk to anyone or check your e-mail. Hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

Horoscopes are compiled and written by the Showcase/Scene editors of The Spectator. The editors have no psychic powers, just guesses.