Dear ask anything,
My roommates and I are having problems fighting over what to watch on television. Some of us are really into sports, and some of us refuse to let go of “American Idol” and the like. Should we settle it violently, or try to find some alternatives we both enjoy?
– Couch Commando Cory
Dear Commando,
Sports? “American Idol?” Lame. “Project Runway” and “Flavor of Love” are quite obviously where it’s at. Anyway, the most apparent solution to your quandary would be purchasing more television sets. However, as we are students, the cost is definitely a factor.
Therefore, I suggest you do what I do, and watch TV at houses of friends who like the same shows you do. In my case, I live on Erica’s couch most nights watching “Project Runway,” “The Daily Show” and “The Real World” because I find it difficult to justify paying for cable. Plus, Erica has a dart board so I can practice for dart league at The Bullpen during commercials.
Dear ask anything,
I’m already starting to fall apart, and February is barely over! Do you have any endurance tips to get through the rest of the semester, I would really appreciate it?
– Exhausted Edward
Dear Exhausted,
Four words: Sugar free Red Bull. Seriously, I wouldn’t make it through a day, let alone a semester, without it. If you don’t care for the sweet tart goodness that is energy drinks, maybe try making a poster and writing inspirational quotes on it that will motivate you in the morning. Or go to that Successories store and buy a poster of footprints in the sand or something. I don’t know, ask a philosophy major. I bet they’d have lots of motivational quotes. Or an elementary education major. Cynical journalism majors? Probably not the best choice, unless you’re motivated by amazing dart skills.
Dear ask anything,
Why is it there are so many squirrels around campus, but I don’t see any squirrel nests in the trees? Is there a sanctuary for them in Haas, or have they learned how to pay rent?
– Curious Courtney
Dear Courtney,
The squirrels in Eau Claire should learn how to pay rent. One day, I was in my apartment alone and I saw a squirrel in my living room. So, freaked out and not knowing what to do (they’re cute and fuzzy from far away but vicious looking up close) I grabbed my phone to call my landlord. Then, I picked up a shoe box in which to trap the squirrel. While waiting on the phone for my landlord I decided to take a crack at trapping the squirrel only to find out it wasn’t a squirrel at all, but rather the fur around my coat hood. Boy did I feel dumb. Eh, maybe the squirrels are living in chimneys or in the Hibbard Penthouse.
