The official student newspaper of University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire since 1923.

The Spectator

The official student newspaper of University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire since 1923.

The Spectator

The official student newspaper of University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire since 1923.

The Spectator

    Ask Anything: Covert Operations

    Good afternoon, Ask Anything-ers. After letting the boys handle this dear column in Fall 2005, the girls have taken over again, to offer insight into your questions. News editor Alison Pelleymounter and I (your fearless graphics editor) want you to know that we’re the jam, and you should start submitting your questions to HHH108 or e-mail the showcase editors.

    Every Thursday Ali and I can be found at the Court’N House, 113 W. Grand Ave., where our super-fun Ask Anything photos were taken. She made me sing, “We Built This City” and honestly, we were terrible. It didn’t help that I really don’t know the words to the song. Oh well, next week I’m going to make her sing Spice Girls. That’ll teach her.

    Dear Ask Anything,
    It’s only been a week since classes started, but I’m already starting to feel the effects of having too much to do and not enough time to do it! My friends have been prodding me to just buy papers and assignments off the Internet, but I’m afraid if I get caught I’ll get sent back to live in my mom’s garage.

    – Covert Operations

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    Dear Covert,

    Man, the garage? Harsh. Did you have to live in the garage for your entire childhood? Was your bed right next to the minivan?

    With the consequences being so dire, all I can suggest is that you do your own work. I’ve been glancing over my course syllabi this semester, and all of them make it perfectly clear. You plagiarize, you die.

    According to Mike Dorsher’s Mass Media Ethics syllabus, “Penalties for academic misconduct will range from an automatic F on the assignment to an F for the course, with the possibility of expulsion from the CJ Department and even the university. For a full description of academic misconduct and its disciplinary consequences, see your Student Services and Standards handbook (UWC 14.03).”

    I’m guessing the punishment of death is outlined thoroughly in the handbook, but I misplaced mine, so I can’t check on that for you.

    But seriously, would you rather live in your nice, comfy dorm room, or in a garage? Screw your friends, they’re jerks. Do your own work.

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