What ever happened to predictability? The milkman, the paperboy or evening TV? And all your familiar friends waiting just around the bend?ÿ Everywhere you look, everywhere … there’s a heart, there’s a face … of somebody who needs you.ÿ When you’re lost out there and you’re all alone, life is waiting to carry you home. Everywhere you look!
– Royal Flush
This is a pretty involved, complex question. You might almost call it a full house of a question, though I’m not sure why that wording comes to mind.
From what I can tell, the only way to really answer this question is to take it step by step.
If you can’t find the answer to your question on your own, maybe you should confide in a friend or family member, because everyone knows that above all, family matters. If your friends and family prove worthless, go ahead and ask some perfect strangers. You could also try hanging with Mr. Cooper.
At any rate, you seem like a boy who needs to just go out and meet the world with your wealth of inquiry. But if all else fails, it’s already Thursday, and tomorrow you can thank God it’s Friday.
I keep seeing these Mona Lisas around town. What’s up with that?
– Lisa Mona
Dude, are you kidding me with that question? Didn’t you read “The Da Vinci Code?”
Leonardo da Vinci, as well as the city of Eau Claire, is trying to tell us the “real” story of Jesus and Mary Magdalene.
Only the thing is, that damn Jacques Saunire wants to keep the secret within the Priory of Sion. Screw him! The truth needs to be told. That creepy smile isn’t just randomly painted on there!
Sorry if I ruined the book for anyone. But if you haven’t read the book by now, you’re probably not emu enough to be allowed in a bookstore or art gallery anyway.
No, actually all the buildings the Mona Lisa are on are owned by a fellow named John Mogensen, and they are on there as an advertisement for his business, Mona Lisa’s, on Water Street.
But that smile is creepy. It reminds me of the time when this girl, whom I’ve never even talked to, was staring at me in class one day. I mean, her eyes were just fixated on me (tough not to, I know).
I turned to my friend next to me and mentioned it, then we both looked over and she, of course, had her eyes back on the professor. Or wait, is that the other way around .
You know what, never mind.
What is with that old hag on Oxygen with her own Sunday night sex show? The woman can barely keep her head from falling into the anal beads she periodically holds up and informs how to use. Can someone find out when her contract is done so we can get some hot model?
– Geriatric Park
What in the dickens are you talking about? The “old hag” is what makes “Talk Sex with Sue Johanson” watchable. Can you think of anything funnier than hearing an elderly woman talk about sex toys and her past experiences?
Personally, I hope she stays on for as long as she’s alive, but it’s probably safe and not in bad taste to say she’s on a slippery slope.
Besides, wouldn’t you rather get thoughtful advice from someone who’s been around the bend a few times, so to speak?
In the few times I’ve seen it (come on now, do I look like a typical Oxygen viewer?), I’ve seen her handle some crazy questions with the eloquence and detail that only she could provide.
I could elaborate on that, but the fact that we really can’t print some of the better questions she’s gotten speaks volumes for the show.
I think it’s telling that I could never repeat most of the questions in these pages, but I suppose with her age and dominance of the sex-talk scene, she can do pretty much anything she wants – FCC be damned.
And guessing from some of her responses, that show’s not the only thing she’s dominated.
