An Existential Crisis On a Sunday Morning

The fear of leaving your teen years behind

More stories from Mckenna Dutton


It all went so fast. I didn’t sign up for this. I thought once I turned eighteen I would just stay that age forever.

Does anyone else reading this have an irrational fear of growing up? If so you’ve come to the right Op/Ed. 

This past weekend I went home to help my sister get ready for her first prom. Going into the weekend I thought it would be really fun.

 I could help her with her hair appointment, I can give advice on makeup, and I could answer any of her other questions leading up to the big event. 

On Saturday morning, the day of prom, I went with my sister to her hair appointment. One of the cosmetologists situated my sister, while I was directed to the closest salon chair. 

I then had an existential crisis. 

I watched as my sister’s hair was teased and hair sprayed into the style she desired. Not even a year ago I sat in that exact salon chair. Excited for a big night ahead of me and college plans were in the distant future. 

Now I’m nearing the end of my freshman year of college and going back to my small hometown I sat in the background as excited high schoolers posed for the endless prom pictures. 

The class of 2021 was quickly replaced by the up and coming classes behind us. 

It all went so fast. I didn’t sign up for this. I thought once I turned eighteen  I would just stay that age forever. My nineteenth birthday sorely proved me wrong. 

I then think back to everything I’ve done in this past year and I did a lot. I graduated highschool, started college, made a lot of new good friends, joined a choir, discovered that hilltop isn’t very good and joined the Spectator. 

I’ve had a lot of fun moving forward with my life and growing up. 

No, I am not going to prom ever again and no, I will not stay young forever but, the comforts I’ve found this year is we meet new people and make new memories everyday. So that one day when I am a senile eighty year old I can look back on my life with pride at everything I’ve done. 

You do the best you can now and have fun along the way. 

Dutton can be contacted at [email protected]