Unlearn Everything

MGK is moldy

 Ned Fulmer, the wife guy, loves bad ideas.

More stories from Sabrina Ftouhi

Unlearn everything
February 13, 2023

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Machine Gun Kelly is the pride and joy of white Gen Z Midwesterners. For those who are fortunately unaware of his existence, let me shine some light on the situation. 

Carson Baker (MGK) started out as a rapper in the early 2010’s and in the present he is known for two things: being destroyed by rapper Eminem, and being Megan Fox’s fiancé. 

I won’t lie to you, MGK had a knack for writing words, rhyming them and enunciating them at Midwestern speeds. He also had blonde hair and blue eyes. Writing this feels like I’m living out the Slim Shady music video.

Before we get to what really matters here, I have to say MGK’s shift from rap to rock was disappointing. I’m well aware that a diss from Eminem is likely to be a death sentence, but his genre shift only demonstrates his whitey tidy privilege. 

He quite literally spent most of a decade appropriating a Black genre of music and he dropped it the moment rapping became inconvenient for him. Move over Megan, he and Miley Cyrus would be so perfect for each other. 

Here’s why MGK is so disgusting. 

The man is a pedophile, there’s no way around it. That man is a creepy leech and his views on Black women aren’t right either.

It was the Fall of 2018, when Marshal Mathers (Eminem) uncovered old MGK tweets where Baker talks about his physical attraction to Eminem’s then underaged daughter, Hallie Mathers. 

Eminem got the justice he was looking for, when he delivered career-ending lyrics in the song “Not Alike”. Don’t confuse this for Eminem praise, though.  I firmly believe that Eminem and MGK were only ever mainstream to make rap relatable to white people. 

I can’t put any of the lyrics in this column, but MGK got the dog-walking he deserved. Then he somehow got cast on Bird Box, and now he’s a fake emo smudge on pop culture. 

A 19 year old MGK tweeted about how he wished younger teenagers weren’t so “hot”. He also inadvertently compared himself to R. Kelly in another tweet about an underaged fan. 

If that doesn’t do it for you, maybe his greasy fetishizing will. In an interview, he went on to sexualize Black women by telling them to be more open to performing certain sexual acts. The interviewer was Black as well as parts of the audience.

When another Black woman walked away from the offensive interviewee. MGK yelled at her, calling her dirty and other things I can’t write. MGK has a Black teenage daughter.

If that still wasn’t enough, his relationship with Megan Fox is sketch.

If someone wanted to wear a necklace with my blood in it, I would run the other way and cleanse my spirit just in case. If the goth emo thing is for you, then great,  but I knew my judgements about this relationship were right when the engagement ring was revealed.

Was the ring pretty? Yes, but the message he intended to put behind the ring is messed up, man. 

He had the ring specially engineered to have thorns on the inside of the ring, which would hurt her if she took it off. That’s not what real love is supposed to look like. Love is not toxicity, love is not pain, this man is going to a certain place for romanticizing it all and being a pedophile on top of that. 

The next time you’re out on Water Street and you hear MGK starting to command you to call him Steve-O, just remember all of that. 

Ftouhi can be reached at [email protected]