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Break out the bathing suits

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Students prepare for spring break, despite snow and freezing temps

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This is a satirical article and is not meant to be taken seriously. It does not reflect the opinions of The Spectator or UW-Eau Claire.

Students at UW-Eau Claire may be shoveling driveways and scraping ice off their windshields, but that hasn’t stopped them from starting to prepare for spring break.

Out on the campus mall, several students have already been spotted in bathing suits, trying to get a tan before they leave for spring break trips to Florida and Mexico, as well as other warm and sunny locations.

Despite the fact that the campus has received several inches of snow in the past couple days, these students have braved the bad weather in favor of making sure they don’t get sunburnt in two weeks on vacation.

Jane Smith, a junior geology student, was one of the sunbathers spotted out on the mall yesterday.

“I grew up in northern Minnesota, so I’ve never minded the cold weather,” Smith said. “Even the snow here isn’t that bad compared to where I grew up.”

Smith added that she is spending her spring break on a beach in Texas, so she will be out on the campus mall during every free moment she has in the next two weeks.

“Being a redhead, I burn really easily, so if I tan now, I won’t burn in Texas,” Smith said.

While others agree with Smith’s logic, there are a few students that think the weather is inappropriate for so little clothing.

Joe Toocold, a first year fabric design student, thinks students like Smith are “crazy” for being out in the snow in just a swimsuit.

“I come from southern Illinois, where it snows in December and January, but you’d never catch me out there in less than a coat and jeans,” Toocold said. “Swimsuits should be saved for 80 degrees or hotter, not snow.”

Toocold said he thinks getting a tan isn’t worth the freezing cold temperatures, even if it means getting burnt during spring break.

“These people would rather get frostbite instead of just putting on sunscreen later,” Toocold said. “It makes no sense to me.”

Smith said she wears sunscreen every time she tans, and she hasn’t gotten frostbite yet.

“Some students stop to tell me that I shouldn’t be outside in a swimsuit, but I’ve been doing this for the last two years, and nothing bad has happened yet,” Smith said.

She also added that sometimes students will stop to brush away piles of snow that have accumulated on her while she is out tanning.

“I really appreciate that, because it keeps me from getting snowpile-shaped tan lines,” Smith said. “Tan lines are the worst, but ones shaped like a pile of snow are tough to explain.”

Smith and the other sunbathers will continue to tan on campus up until they leave for spring break, regardless of weather.

“We will only consider going inside if it starts hailing,” Smith said. “I can handle a lot of different weather in a bikini, but hail just straight-up hurts.”

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About the Writer
Brittany Walczak, Staff Writer
Brittany Walczak is a staff writer at The Spectator. She is a third-year creative writing student with a minor in multimedia communication. In her free time, she enjoys reading fan fiction and playing trumpet with the Blugold Marching Band. She can often be found petting cats at the Humane Society.
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Break out the bathing suits