The election has been over for a little while, and now that we’re no longer being barraged with political ads, we can live in peace. That is, until we are barraged very shortly with Christmas ads. (Hopefully they aren’t too negative.)

For those of you who haven’t yet thrown the newspaper away because you are so sick of politics, I actually am going to talk about the culture of political pundits – not politics itself.

Let’s take an in-depth look at what I like to call “The Axis of Evil,” more commonly known as Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity.

I’ll start with Ann Coulter – the worst of all three. She is evil wrapped in a thin, blond-haired woman’s body. Seriously, I am waiting for the day her true persona reveals itself and her eyes turn red and she says, “I am death destroyer of the world.”

You can tell she has a real solid head on her shoulders when she says things like “all Muslims should be converted to Christianity, because Christianity is a non-violent religion.” Obviously, somebody forgot about the crusades. Or when she stated that all Europeans hate God. Yup, that’s my kind of woman. I can’t imagine being married to her. Just thinking about it makes my testicles shrink.

Indeed, Conservatives everywhere can be proud of her hopeful message of the Republican Party.

Then there’s Sean Hannity, a slick-haired conservative – a young Limbaugh, if you will. Unlike Coulter, I don’t think Hannity is evil. He’s just a self-loving prick.

If you’ve ever watched his show or read his books, you know that all he does is talk about how great he and the Republicans are and how the Democrats are un-American.

Also, like Limbaugh, he seems to blame all the world’s problems on Bill Clinton.

When you watch his show on the Republican News Network, (sorry, Fox News – same difference), all he ever does is assail guests with democratic views and kiss ass to Republican guests. I guess he must be taking Bush’s class on how to be a uniter, not a divider.

Finally, there is Limbaugh – the most well-known and listened to of the three. For your basic overview of Rush, take everything I said about Hannity and apply it here.

The funny thing is, as much as these people hate Clinton, they wouldn’t even have careers if it weren’t for him.

I apologize to all my democratic friends out there, but it is partly Clinton’s fault for the rise of conservative pundits like the “Axis of Evil.” We all know that if Bill had kept his pants on, these conservative pundits would not have nearly as much to complain about.

Seriously, would they have complained about how the economy was going so well? Or about all the darn jobs being created? Yeah, right. They all secretly know Clinton made them rich.

To be fair, there are some crazy lunatics out there who have left-wing views as well. The biggest name that comes to mind is Michael Moore. Basically, take most everything said about the previous three, add the left-wing views, and you have Moore. I say most everything because, unlike the “Axis of Evil,” I think Moore actually does have a conscience.

Al Franken is another left-wing example, but he’s not nearly as extreme.

Moore and Franken soon will be joined by other left-wing pundits in the next few years. It took eight years under a democratic president to produce all these right-wingers, and the same will be true for Bush. With four more years of him perhaps being more hated than Clinton, a barrage of left-wing pundits will appear as well. It’s all part of the ever-changing cycle of crazy, psycho political pundits who should be locked up in a mental institution. It’s enough to make one lose all hope in the human race.

The common denominator between left- and right-wing pundits is that they both have extreme views and alienate the majority of the population that isn’t crazy.

It’s unfortunate that there aren’t as many people with centered beliefs running their mouths, because the country might not be as polarized as it is today if there were. It’s an American shame that we’ve allowed the country to become as polarized and negative as it is. It makes one yearn for the days when civility was a way of life, not just a forgotten metaphor.

I am so sick of politics by now, but can’t wait for the continuing madness of American democracy to unfold, as I watch the political pundit freak show unfold as well. Canadian citizenship, here I come!