I’m a well-established Grinch at this point. I don’t like holiday music, the decorations bother me and the relentless advertising drives me up a wall. Yet, one Christmas album manages to shine a light through the eternal darkness of my heart during the winter season.

“South Park” has been running for almost 30 years. It is one of the most recognizable media franchises in the United States. It will likely begin its 27th season next year.

The show is known for pushing cultural lines. Episodes like “With Apologies to Jesse Jackson” and “It Hits the Fan” fundamentally and irreversibly changed what is allowed on public television and how we consume said TV shows.

Their holiday album, “Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics,” came out around a week before an episode sharing the name. The album features characters from “South Park” singing Christmas holiday songs, both old and new.

The episode showcases some of the songs from the album, narrated by Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo. In fact, the first song of the episode and album are an introduction to this character, coming from the fictional early ‘50s recording artist, Cowboy Timmy. 

“You’ve all heard of Rudolph and his shiny nose / And you all know Frosty who’s made out of snow / But all of those stories seem kind of … gay / ’Cause we all know who brightens up our holiday.”

And with the first few lines of the album, “South Park” writers Trey Parker and Matt Stone have both established the comedic tone of their album and given us an ample introduction to their new proposed holiday mascot. 

I’m sure this isn’t news to anyone familiar with the “South Park” series, but the album is hilarious. From the counselor Mr. Mackey’s rendition to “Carol of the Bells” to Kenny and Mr. Hankey’s “The Most Offensive Song Ever,” this record is full of gutbusters. 

Some of them, such as “Dead, Dead, Dead,” shine an oddly philosophical light on the season. It focuses on the inevitability of death with lyrics like:

“So look long at that Christmas tree / it might be the last one that you see,” and “So be sure on Christmas Eve / When you snuggle into bed / That you thank God for your family / ’Cause someday they’ll be dead.”

Beyond the comedy, though, this album is more inclusive than one would expect. “South Park,” in my opinion, is the only “offensive” piece of media that has faithfully stuck by the philosophy that no group is off limits while simultaneously uplifting unheard voices.

A common criticism of the holiday season is that there aren’t enough Jewish/Hanukkah songs. Well, Parker and Stone gave us not one, but two Judaism-based bangers for the season. The first is an original, “The Lonely Jew on Christmas,” sung by Kyle Broflovski.

“It’s hard to be a Jew on Christmas / My friends won’t let me join in any games / And I can’t sing Christmas songs or decorate a Christmas tree / Or leave water out for Rudolph ’cause there’s something wrong with me / My people don’t believe in Jesus Christ’s divinity.”

Kyle works through his tough feelings on the season until Special Celebrity Guest (a character with no face or other name who never shows up again) tells him why putting up the Menorah instead of a tree may not be such a bad thing.

“It’s nice to be a Jew on Christmas / You don’t have to deal with the season at all / You don’t have to be on your best behavior or give to charity / You don’t have to go to grandma’s house with your alcoholic family.”

The other Jewish classic on the album is “Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel,” a traditional Hebrew song given new life by the Broflovski family. Kyle sings the traditional part while his friends and family join in rounds, such as:

Kyle: “Oh, Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, I made you out of clay / Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, with Dreidel I shall play.”

Stan: “I’ll try to make it spin / It fell, I’ll try again.”

Eventually, the song is a five-person round with the Broflovski family, Eric Cartman and Stan Marsh.

The most offensive song on the album is, in my opinion, “Merry F**king Christmas” by Mr. Garrison, in which he goes to other countries and berates them for not celebrating Christmas. Yes, I think it’s worse than the song called “The Most Offensive Song Ever.”

This album is an indictment, celebration and mockery of the holiday season all into one. It’s the only Christmas album that I genuinely enjoy. I run through it every year the day after Black Friday to get into the holiday spirit.

Tolbert can be reached at [email protected]. Try to get him to like more Christmas music.