For a couple of years now, people around me have been urging me to watch “Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure.” 

I’d given the show a try before, but the season I saw was so different from what I expected from the show that I was only able to make it through a few episodes. 

But after hearing glowing reviews from peers, anime club members and many, many, many more, I decided it was time to bite the bullet. 

To begin, I’ve observed that “Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 1,” which is all I had time to watch, is very weird. 

Which is funny because, from what I’ve heard, it’s the most normal of all the seasons. And technically it is, as it has a pretty standard plot with a few exceptions. 

Jonathan Joestar is the son of George Joestar and a part of a wealthy British family. One day, this dude named Dio Brando shows up with a note saying George Joestar owes his father a debt, so he takes in Brando after his father’s death.

But that was dumb because Brando is evil, so he torments Jonathan Joestar for the entirety of their childhoods, doing nasty things like burning Jonathan Joestar’s dog alive. 

This continues until Brando tries to poison George Joestar. I guess that’s where Jonathan Joestar draws a line, so he finds an antidote in a seedy alley and kicks a man’s butt so politely that the man decides to follow Jonathan Joestar’s lineage around for the rest of his life. 

This man is Robert E.O. Speedwagon. He is only one of many musically-adjacent names in this part, but more come later on. 

In “Part 1,” there are iconic characters such as Lord Zeppeli, Tonpetty and the friends Dire and Straizo. 

I’m pretty sure the creator is putting together a music festival rather than telling a story. (It wouldn’t be a bad lineup, though, I’ll give him that.) 

Jonathan Joestar saves his dad from being poisoned before Brando stabs George Joestar anyway and turns himself into a vampire using an ancient mask. 

Here’s where I started to get lost. I don’t mean that I wasn’t invested; I was just very confused. 

This series has a very odd magic system. They use this thing called Hamon — I really hoped it was the Honmoon, but sadly no — where characters use controlled breathing (ripping off Demon Slayer 30 years before it came out) to harness the sun energy within their bodies to generate magic blasts of heat. 

Hamon can be passed through materials to strike a target as long as it’s not metal, ice or obstructed in some way. 

This power can also be used in other ways if the writer deems it convenient for the plot, such as weaving leaves together to hang glide away from enemies. 

Also, as a vampire, Brando has abilities of his own that follow the same principle of being whatever the author thinks would be really cool to happen right now. 

In “Part 1,” Brando’s abilities include immortality, super strength, super speed, flight, necromancy, mind control, ice powers and Space Ripper Stingy Eyes, which is the first time I’ve ever seen a vampire with a laser vision ability. 

Plus, he just has too many abilities. If Brando wasn’t the bad guy, this show would devolve into “Solo Leveling” really fast. 

It already got a head start by having side characters who are so underpowered that they can’t do anything besides commentate. 

I won’t judge too harshly, though, since Speedwagon is still my favorite even though I kept nicknaming him “Krillin” throughout my watch.

Don’t ask me why he’s my favorite. I couldn’t tell you. He’s just a chill guy. 

I won’t give the ending away for you because it’s the most insane thing about “Part 1.” The only things that could be crazier are everything that comes after in the show.  

I will give “Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure” this: it is both visually and narratively unique, and I have never seen anything like it, nor do I think I ever will again.

Curtin can be reached at [email protected].