From single to settled down-the perils of college dating

Where are college girls finding dateable guys?

More stories from Hailey Novak


Photo by Hailey Novak

I’ve been known to exaggerate but, I swear to God, everyone I know is suddenly engaged.

Pseudo adults like myself have plans to get married in the near future. If that doesn’t make you question what exactly you’ve been doing with your entire life up until this point then I don’t know what does.

Of course I always happen to see these happy little “life events” on Facebook while I’m laying in bed trying not to spill whatever food I’m eating on myself. I feel slightly pathetic until I get over it and walk to the kitchen for another snack to eat while I process how the hell this could be happening.

All of this wouldn’t be such a big deal if I wasn’t left with one burning question. Where do these girls find guys who actually want to date, let alone get married?

Does anyone else ever just sit there listening to Tegan and Sara’s “How come you don’t want me” track on repeat and think it might as well be your personal theme song? (The title says it all).

Let’s get something straight here, I don’t have any problem being single. I actually really enjoy it 98 percent of the time. I’m just trying to understand how so many girls my age are snagging these guys when every guy I know sees dating as a potential disease he could catch.

Honestly, I’ve come to the conclusion that dating is just too weird for a majority of college students. I think most people deep down wouldn’t mind having a significant other but no one wants to commit to the idea of an actual relationship.

Which really makes me miss my unofficial sixth grade “boyfriend” who corresponded with me via love notes, because that’s pretty much the ultimate commitment at that age. So thank you to my sixth grade lover, Andrew Pitney, for setting the bar so high.

College guys want to “chill” or “hangout” and sometimes that happens on a regular basis and involves actually leaving the house (which normal people would call dates). But this can go on seemingly forever and they still won’t admit they’re in any sort of a relationship.

The best part is when this whole thing goes on for a while and then they simply stop talking to you all together so you’re just left like, “or nah.”

It’s especially puzzling because my friends keep telling me how they have to be the maid of honor in their high school friend’s wedding and I’m trying to comprehend how these girls my age somehow made the jump from non-committal “chilling” to freaking marriage.

The only time I respond “I do” is when someone asks me if I want to get pizza delivered for dinner.

I know I’m not alone in this confusion because I’ve overheard conversations from my female customers at work who are just as baffled as I am.

Guys, what’s the big deal? Dating used to be the cool thing to do back in middle school so I really don’t see why we couldn’t just bring that back like we did the 90’s grunge look. You know, like the ultimate throwback Thursday.

All I’m wondering is how this marriage/single life dichotomy came about.

Going out on actual dates with someone you enjoy spending time with won’t kill you. I think this middle ground is underrated and should be reconsidered for our generation who pretends to get fulfillment from purely texting and Netflix-watching based relationships.