Information ruins too many good ideas

If you’ve had a rage ruined, I have the solution



Story by Glen Olson, Chief Copy Editor

I’ve had a problem in my reporting lately.

Every time I get righteously perturbed, you know, really raring to go and do some investigative reporting, expose some stuff and make some change … it just fizzles out.

Most usually, it just happens what looks like a stupid or asinine administrative decision, or something that is unjust or covered up, becomes more and more reasonable the more you know about it.

It’s been hard to maintain that someone is definitely to blame, even for things that are legitimately annoying, whether it’s tuition or fee raises, things becoming less accessible, etc.

A while ago I was told UWEC’s Art department didn’t allow non-majors or -minors to take many of the actual art classes, beyond just art history and some very basic ones.

The person who told me this was convinced, essentially, that it was rather unjust they don’t open up those classes for people who would like to go through the trouble of taking the appropriate prerequisites, because the department is paid for through tuition like anything else.

Unfortunately, when I went to ask them about this, they pointed out the smallish size of the department, the goal to get their own majors and minors out in four years and that they are currently trying to get the classes open to more people.

So, really, it was already being solved and all the fuss was more or less for nothing.

I’ve heard of other people having similar problems, too.

An environmental studies major was telling me that a class had planned to protest the use of pesticides in the grass this spring, lay out all night and everything to prevent them from spraying them.

But, unfortunately, they found the university actually uses a relatively environmentally responsible pesticide and ultimately a large scale demonstration would be somewhat unnecessary.

I suppose you could run into these problems in any kind of activist role, unless you’re really good at it and can stay focused.

I want to  make sure no matter what cause you support, be it environmental, political or as basic as thinking the government is poisoning it’s citizens with fluoride in the water supply, you can harness your blind rage and keep it as blind as possible for as long as possible.

The ideal contraption would combine ear plugs, a loud speaker (so you can still hear yourself), horse blinders and an of as-of-yet undeveloped combination fish eye/zoom lens glasses.

The glasses are my current project and I’m hoping they can give you something similar to very severe tunnel vision.

Once I can get all these materials into one large, helmet-like contraption, I’ll be marketing it as the Rage Saver. It will be available at all major retailers for the reasonable price of $19.99.

I’m thinking it will go over well. Congress will have a renewed energy, the news will become more interesting and no one will have to bother themselves with thinking about what they’re doing.

So don’t let facts ruin your tirades or stop your enthusiastic campaigns against injustice ever again.