Singletons unite: Dating is not always worth the heartache

Why being single might actually be okay in college



Story by Katy Macek, Currents Editor

There is a stigma in society that being single means being lonely.

I have been single for many months now, and lonely is the last thing I feel.  I feel more free, more productive, more focused, but never more alone.

In fact, the only thing I don’t like about being single is that so many people seem to have a problem with me being single… and enjoying it.

I am very happy for all of the coupled friends in my life. I think relationships can be a beautiful thing, but they aren’t for everyone at every point in their life.

For a senior graduating in less than four months, I am at a point where being single isn’t just okay, it makes sense. In fact, I have found a multitude of benefits in taking some time off the dating scene:

Being able to do what I want.

A big part of college is figuring out who you are, and that can be hard to do if you don’t have space to let yourself grow. Being tied down to another person can, but doesn’t always, limit you on the choices you make about activities, classes, even the college you attend.

Having time to focus on my goals and future.

As a soon-to-be graduate, my whole future is wide open and I am excited to take advantage of it, whether that means living near home for a while to gather my bearings, or traveling the country before settling down. My future job and living situation plans aren’t hindered based on where another person is at in their life.

Figuring out who I am.

There is a quote by an unknown author that reads, “In order to make someone else happy, you must make yourself happy first.”

It can be easy to lose sight of you who you are in a relationship. Taking time for myself has given me so many opportunities to explore who I am and what I want out of life.

Putting time in to become my very best self ensures that when I do find someone, I will be happy enough with my own life to want to share it with them.

I also hold a very traditional belief that my first marriage will be my only marriage, and I would rather not rush quickly into it.

According to “Knot Yet: The Benefits and Costs of Delayed Marriage in America”, sponsored in part by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, the average age for women to marry in the United States is 27, and males at 29. These numbers have risen since the 1920s, when women were married by 20 or 21 years old.

Not only are there financial benefits, but this delay in marriage has also lead to a decrease in divorce rate since the 1980s, according to the study.

“Couples who marry in their early twenties and especially their teens are more likely to divorce than couples who marry later,” the report said.

When I am at a stable place in my life, I will definitely entertain the idea of a serious relationship again. Until then, I am happy focusing on my future and the already existing relationships I have with my friends and family.

In a recent interview with Taylor Swift, the celebrity told correspondents of E! that being single didn’t mean she wasn’t happy, and certainly doesn’t mean she is lonely.

“I have love in my life, I just don’t have a relationship,” she said in the interview. “And that feels really natural right now.”