Albrent’s Believe It or Not: 04/18

Story by Emily Abrent, Op/Ed Editor

That’s just crummy

Let’s be real. Baked good are AWESOME. Some doughy goodness is the perfect way to start out your day.

You can eat bagels, you can eat toast, you can eat doughnuts, all of which I love the most. I got a little Dr. Seuss-y there. Work with me.

But, you know what’s really good?! Having a snake being baked into your bread for a little extra protein. YUM.

Thanks to the most credible website in the world, Reddit, a picture of a whole snake is seen baked into a loaf of bread from a company called, Mrs. Baird’s, a Bimbo Bakeries property. It is super popular in Texas, I guess. But really, what a surprise that must have been.

The Huffington Post took it upon themselves to look into this, because come on, this just seems a little too weird to be true.

The press representative for Mrs. Baird’s claimed the picture is a hoax.

“These kind of claims are virtually never true,” the press representative said. “This isn’t something where you’d look at it and say, ‘Yeah, this could have happened.’ … This is a pretty bizarre claim.”

That is a fantastic quote, dude.

Really. Tell me more about how you are completely sure if this was true or not. You’re really doing something for the company. Slow clap.

 Back to the future

Kind of. An Iranian inventor claims to have built a machine that can predict a person’s future.

So really, it’s just a glorified psychic. Which are totally real, and I believe in them. So this kind of story gets me excited.

Ali Razeghi, the guy behind this, is the managing director of Iran’s Center for Strategic Invention.

He said his device can print out reports saying what an individual’s future is by using complex  algorithms.

Razeghi said that his device is the size of a personal computer and can predict the next 5 to 8 years of a person’s life.

He said, “It will not take you into the future, it will bring the future  to you.”

Razeghi  said he wants to keep this whole thing as much of a secret as possible because he is afraid that, get ready for this, “the Chinese will steal the idea and produce it in millions overnight.”

That’s a whole lot racist.