Being a teen was tuff, right guys? Seriously! I could go on about things I did as a teen that made my life SUPER DIFFICULT, but that would turn into 1500 words on why Phish is totally underrated and how intensely revolutionary “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy” is. I guess I still enjoy “Anchorman,” but I think Phish totally blows now, and —
THE POINT IS: Teens are the worst. Teen opinions are terrible. Teen anything is outrageously bad.

Therefore, “Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist,” an UNABASHED teen thing, is just the pit of film trash. It’s based on a teen book written for teens, probably by teens that think they’re really cool. It’s like being in eighth grade poetry class, writing about smoking cigarettes and driving cars and being really awesome when you definitely don’t do those things. That’s the equivalent. This movie is totally an eighth grade poem about cigarettes.

Anyway, the movie is about this whirlwind romance between two teens, Nick and Norah (from the title! Cool!). Norah (Kat Dennings, who sucks always and forever) always digs Nick’s (Michael Cera) rejected mixed CDs (lol) out of the trash because SHE’S A CRAZY PERSON she loves his taste in music, but she doesn’t know who he is.

Anyway, one night at an indie rock show (okay, teens), Norah’s getting hit on by Jay Baruchel and she makes Nick pretend be her boyfriend because SHE’S CLEARLY INSANE. But then they lose Norah’s friend, who’s really drunk, and they have to go all over New York City (OK) to find her while simultaneously tracking the most underground band of all,
Where’s Fluffy.

OMG, they’re so in love.

So eventually along the way, Nick loses his hang-ups about his previous teen lover and falls in love with Norah because their names start with the same letter and they both love Pop Rocks and iCarly.

After their crazy night in NYC (you’re 16), Nick calls Norah and they agree to meet at Norah’s dad’s RECORDING STUDIO. Nick loves all of the stuff there, and they turn the mics on and do sex stuff, but the only thing on the camera is the volume meter of the studio MAXING OUT BECAUSE OF THE LOUDNESS.

EW! Ew times 100,000,000,000,000. Grossgrossgross. So gross. So stupid! Ugh!

This is easily the worst scene out of all of TWMDMYES. Easy like Sunday morning.

Then after this whole mess, they hear that Where’s Fluffy is playing somewhere nearby and they go to see them and fall even harder in love, each with one ear bud in one ear and all the candy they could ever dream of and then the movie ends. Thank GOD. It was awful.

I give 5 out of 5 TNZ’s