Ask anything

Story by The Spectator staff

Dear Ask Anything,

So, the student mentor for my FYE course started hitting on me this week, which is my dream come true because I have such a monster crush on him. However, my lab partner told me that he dated three of the girls in our class, one of whom broke up with him yesterday. And, to top it off, she’s having lattes with him at Racy’s at 8 p.m. tomorrow night!

Then today, he asked me if I wanted to meet him – get this – at Racy’s at 9:30 for a café miel. What should I do?

Well, you certainly have a predicament on your hands. First of all, given that it’s spring semester I would guess you don’t have this advisor currently in your FYE class, making this especially weird. The extra effort on his part could be applauded, but it sounds like he has enough encouragement.

No matter his questionable methods of setting up this dishonest meeting, you need a plan of action to confront it head on.

First, you should get there early. Like really early. A little before 8 p.m. would be perfect. You can bring some homework so it’s less suspicious that you’re entrapping him. Feel free to sneak around at first. If you hide behind a chair, you’d be able to hop out from behind upon sighting the two-timing mentor and yell ‘ha!’ It’s always been one of my dreams to do that, so I’ll just live vicariously through you.

After springing on him, brush yourself off and regain your composure to explain the situation to the other lady caught in his web of lies. If all goes well, maybe you two can sit down for a cafe miel and leave the chump to lick his wounds. I mean, there’s no reason to waste a trip to Racy’s.