Renee Rosenow

As I predicted last week our team has a pattern, so yeah, we earned a nice victory against Naughty Parts, 103.2 to his 94.9.

But it’s not all that glorious.

Another spot for the playoffs was taken after Week 11.

Mustard Lookers is back on top in first place. His last victory to Kaedings Kids (#4) has allowed him to get a little star by his name that assures him a spot in the playoffs.

Unfortunately The Loose Poopmen, now in second place, was beat in a close match against The Donald Duckers (#3) 93.15 to 92.

I feel bad because he is the one who helped me figure out how to do my first trade – our New England wide receiver, Wes Welker, for Rock n Taint’s (#5) Green Bay runningback Ryan Grant.

It wasn’t as bad as I was expecting it to be. It was worse! I didn’t know that Friday night was the last day to make trades, so by the time I did the trade it was too late. Instead the trade was going to go through Week 12.

But my five-minute-nightmare doesn’t end there.

Apparently to make a trade the league’s creator has to approve it. Our league’s creator was The Donald Duckers.

I know I wrote many bad things about him, so I was really hoping that he would put his resentments aside and allow me to trade. At first he gave me the speech of how I said mean things about him, and I didn’t deserve the trade ending his comment with “I could not allow it, Claudia,” as his attempt at an evil laugh followed.

Fortunately there’s still something human left inside him, so he allowed the trade.

This week we play The Mustard Lookers, so our pattern will break, as I’m sure we won’t have two victories in a row.

I was thinking about what would happen if the Paladins (#6) would lose this week. It would actually be really good, if we were to win. But who knows, in this game I’ve noticed it’s more luck and not much experience is needed.

Even if you do you have experience, like 280 Snaps & Counting (#9) and Naughty Parts (#10) no matter how much experience a player has, there can always be other factors that will stop you from getting on top and winning this game.

Lozano is a senior print journalism major and sports editor of The Spectator. “Fantasy Virgin” is a column that appears every Thursday.