
Dear Ask Anything,
So, I have this friend who got her face painted on spring break. How do I tell her that this isn’t socially appropriate?
Love,
Not a Mime
Dear Un-mime,
Oh my goodness, I love face paint! Socially inappropriate?! Never! You can’t tell her that – you’ll crush all her childhood dreams. And how ironic, because on my spring break, I got my face painted, too!
To embrace patient-doctor confidentiality laws, I will not reveal the details of this experience. But let me tell you, it was the chance of a lifetime.
I’m curious as to what she got painted on her face. I bet it was something sexy, and in that case, how could you ever consider it socially inappropriate?
I may be interpreting your question incorrectly, but it seems to be tainted with a bit of a jealousy vibe. I bet you wanted to get your face painted, too. My advice to you: break out of that shell and do it! After all, you only live once, and life’s not just about the moments in your life, but the moments that take your breath away (OK – I pretty much murdered that quote, but I can’t remember how it really goes right now, you get the gist).
While we’re talking about quotes, an anonymous man quoted through a google search I performed said this:
“Give and forget! Receive and remember!”
Well, I don’t know what you’ve been giving, but hopefully you’ve already forgot -and if you received a face-painting you are always going to remember it!
My last concern is the level of intoxication your friend had reached. I mean, let’s be honest here – it was spring break and she does have the right to do crazy things under the influence. That’s what college spring break is for – right? If not, I certainly missed the memo.
Dear Ask Anything,
I have been trying to tone up my body lately because I want to impress the babes, but now I think I am too muscular. What body type do chicks find ideal and how can I get my body to look like that?
Sincerely,
Hot Bod
Dear Hottie,
Personally, when I hit the bars I’m looking to score with a good old mesomorphic bod. Although don’t fret you ectomorphs and endomorphs, there’s a woman out there for you somewhere. Someday, maybe soon, or maybe far from now, your hearts will collide into what will shortly follow as a love explosion.
But, as long as your going around exploiting women as “babes,” I feel the day when you are going to find your soulmate is later rather than sooner. I mean, come on, haven’t you kept up on any of the feminism movements? We are a powerful gender and more than just a body. Girl power!
Now, when it comes to being “too muscular,” I wish you would have explained a little more. Many men consider themselves to be ripped, when really they have no bigger muscles than when they were a scrawny nerd in sixth grade with glasses who always picked his nose and thought playing chess was cool. Well, I got to hand it to him, those pawn pieces can get pretty heavy.
Really though, when you tell me you’re too muscular, are you being honest? Because, a lot of guys lie. They are just notorious for it – it’s in their blood or something.
If you are an honest Joe, than I guess my best advice about the ideal body type is this: there is none.
Women have struggled for decades with fitting into the ideal body type, and it’s finally began to surface that maybe we should just accept ourselves (here again, keep up with your feminism). Note the Dove campaign we have seen in recent times.
We can’t all be Britney Spears (before she went crazy – back in those naughty-school-girl-hit-me-baby-one-more-time days) or Brad Pitt (before he went . wait, Brad Pitt was and always is hot, sorry guys). But, we can all be happy and live fulfilling lives as the people we were meant to be.
Love the skin you’re in, people. That’s all there is to it.
Ask Anything appears every Thursday.
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