Lyssa Beyer

Dear Ask Anything,
I noticed a lot of people wearing stickers that said, “I Voted” the other day. Does that mean they voted for “American Idol?” I’ve heard it is a really good show. I mean, that Rueben Studdard dude is so cool! How can I get on that show?
Sincerely,
Not William Hung

Dear Hung,
I am sorry to say I missed whatever it is you are talking about. If it occurred this past weekend, the excuse would be that I was out of town seeing some friends in Madison and some place named after raccoons in Minnesota. I can safely say though that if it happened on Saturday, it probably was to impress Sen. Barack Obama as he looked out into the crowd of the Eau Claire residents who came out in full force to see him. Nothing says we are into politics by claiming we voted when there wasn’t even a vote going on right?

Now if all this went down during the week days of last week, then I don’t have any excuses. I did not write any actual news stories, only columns, so I turned my attention to detail switch off and must not have picked up on the stickers.

Basically, if they were being worn during that time it could have been any number of things. Voting for the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences was coming to a close, so perhaps the people you saw wearing these stickers were members of the Academy? I would have to ask in the event that were true, though, whether or not you saw Brandon Routh and Kal Penn wearing the stickers when they came to support Obama earlier in the week, because there is no chance they are able to vote for the Academy Awards. But I digress.

Another thing it could have been, like you pointed out, was “American Idol.” To know for sure if this was the case, you would have to go back and find those you saw wearing the stickers and then check their cell phones to see who they called or texted last week. If the “American Idol” hotline is on there, then I think you can safely say that is why they were wearing the stickers.

But the most logical reason, to me at least, is they were probably imitating their parents. Yes, that’s right, imitating their parents. It is something college students rarely do, but then again college students rarely vote. Either way, whenever I was young, and my parents voted, I was the proud recipient of the stickers they had received saying they had voted. What is likely happening is that I set the trend.

Dear Ask Anything,
I miss out on everything! Last semester I couldn’t make it to the Jodie Sweetin forum! Last week I missed out on Kumar and Superman! Are any other major celebs ever coming to Eau Claire again? How can I make sure we cross paths?
Sincerely,
Future Paparazzo

Dear Paparazzo,
Am I not good enough? I would like to think of myself as a celeb, but apparently not in your eyes. Oh well, how can I compete with a girl who said “How rude” for a living, a dude that is famous for starring in a movie about going to a fast food restaurant, or the new Superman?

More celebs will be coming to Eau Claire, and let me tell you the best thing you can do if you want to see them for sure is to build it. Yes, build it. I am not sure what “it” exactly is, but I heard a whisper coming from my refrigerator early this morning that said “if you build it, celebs will come.” Now I felt compelled to build “it” myself, but then realized no way would I want a number of celebs in my small dorm room. A single Paris Hilton, Rachael Ray or Johnny Depp would be nice, and I would even take the cast of “The O.C.,” but I can’t imagine building something and only getting two frickin celebs out of it.

By building “it” yourself, you will not only get the celebs you desire here to Eau Claire, but you will know when and where they will be coming because I am sure the whisper from my refrigerator will tell me, and then I can tell you.

However, I will only tell you what my refrigerator tells me, and that is you cannot be a crazy paparazzi, Papparazzo. Although no paparazzi is really that normal, you could at least strive to be a decent one in the sense that you wouldn’t inspire Britney Spears to write songs about you flipping her off or taking her pictures when she is grocery shopping, I mean, are you kidding me? Be respectful, take pictures of celebs when they are actually doing something worth taking a picture of, and more importantly don’t hang around the Eau Claire area for them to come, because chances are they won’t be back for another four years.

This week’s featured columnist is: Scott Hansen
Send questions to Hibbard 108 or [email protected]