Dear Ask Anything,
I’m out of groceries, and trying to think of how to get creative with what little food I have left. I was wondering, how much can I press my luck with old eggs and whipped cream, and what will happen to me if they’re too old?
– Starving Stanley
Dear Starving,
If you had moldy bread and ketchup, this would be a whole different story. Ketchup on bread is far superior to whipped cream on rotten eggs. And it would smell a lot better too.
I think my Ask Anything cohort, Ali, would want to answer this one, because I’ve seen her fridge. And if she ate eggs (she’s a fair-weather vegetarian), her fridge would resemble yours.
But on most days, Ali doesn’t eat meat. Her fridge contains Red Bull and maybe ketchup. She seems to be doing fine; she hasn’t starved to death yet.
Personally, when my fridge is empty, I just make a call to Quick Wok. If I call immediately after class, as I’m walking to my car, my food will be ready by the time I arrive at their place on Water Street. Talk about quick!
I think you should take into consideration what Ali and I do in order to not have to eat rotten eggs and whipped cream (because no matter how hard I try, I can’t think of anything not disgusting in combining the two). Call yourself a vegetarian, pick up a Red Bull and call Quick Wok. Throw the eggs at your buddy’s car, and call it a day.
