To be a ruler, is it more effective to be loved or feared? I’m thinking of starting up a totalitarian rgime on campus and I wanted to know what would be the best way to get people to abide by my rules? Any suggestions?
– Totally Regimey
Being a political science minor, I’ve studied various totalitarian rgimes, so I’d like to think I actually know something about the subject matter of an Ask Anything question for once.
The definitive, irrefutable answer to your question is the most effective dictatorships instill a curious blend of fear and love within their countrymen.
The key ingredient to creating this blend, at least within the common people, is ignorance – if you want to be a dictator, you have to keep your people ignorant. Restrict media sources so you control the flow of information and ideas.
Ignorant people can be told anything, so if you tell them you are doing a great job and throw in a little paranoia about other countries causing trouble, then you’ve really got them. For those on the inside (i.e. your ministers, assistants, generals and everyday bureaucrats) you have to orchestrate a two-part strategy to instill the perfect blend of love and fear.
Pay-offs, appointments, security and any other assurances you can offer will keep them quiet and loyal. Meanwhile, be ready to kill any defectors immediately and gruesomely, creating an example. Be bold. Make a statement.
Don’t believe me? Look at Kim Jong Il. If anyone should be overthrown, it’s him. The guy is short, eccentric and probably crazy, yet he’s been rocking out over in North Korea for more than 10 years now since his father’s death. Why? Because he knows how to keep his people ignorant and his lackeys in line.
Why in the world would those idiots who make M&Ms change the colors? Seriously, I want that stupid tan color back. It looked like an over-padded turd, man.
– Tan Man Stan
First of all, Stan, you want that “stupid, tan color back?” If it’s so stupid, why do you want it back?
Second of all, I was about to embark on a wildly gross but satisfying tangent about how you should reconsider your snack choice you favored the tan M&M because of its resemblance to human fecal matter, but I’m going to hold off out of consideration for our more squeamish readers.
Steering away from the grotesque, I went to M&M’s.com and tried to derive a list of colors that have survived the bouts of color change, rocking the M&M community over the years. As far as I can tell, the dominant M&M colors at the present time are red, orange, green, blue and yellow. I say this because each of these colors has a character representing them. There’s the clever, smart-aleck red, the seductive green, the cool blue and so on.
Analyzing the M&M character community, I realized that each character is a personification of what its color may mean to people. Now, red, blue, green, orange and yellow are all very perky, upbeat colors. It’s so obvious the tan brown M&M was just a little too cool to join the “cheerleading squad” of M&M happiness and decided to hit the road.
I’m sure he’s off fulfilling life-long dreams of being melted into prestigious Godiva chocolatiers or finding a more suitable home for his sweet personality.
In fact, I believe his split from his long-time home at the M&M factory came when the sell-out conglomorates of M&M started making cheesy commercials with dancing celebrities. Tan got out while he still had some dignity, and we should praise him for it, not demand he become a sell-out too.
The fact of the matter is, you should just shut up and eat the damn M&Ms. It’s not like the tan ones tasted any different anyway. If you’re looking for fun colors in candy, may I suggest Laffy Taffy’s. They’re delicious.
Ask anything is a weekly question and advice column. Brian Reisinger and Mark Schaaf are alternating columnists.
