The Brewers stink up NLCS

Story by Sam Rosenberry

Woof.

That is the best way to describe the Brewers in the NLCS.

Woof. It seemed like they were down in each game throughout the series — and they won two of them. Though I’m now questioning if those wins happened. Maybe I hit my head. Yeah, I probably hit my head.

It got to the point during Sunday night’s game that my only solace was hitting the last button on the remote to watch the Vikings play really
silly, terrible football.

It was a series where the Crew gave up over seven runs a game causing Bernie Brewer to tear out his mustache while crying beer-y tears.

Or at least that’s what should have happened. While, anyway, I had a few thoughts.

This shouldn’t be shocking

The Cardinals had a good end of the year. They went 18-8 in the final month including a 3-1 series win against Philly — on the road. They also beat the Brewers in five out of the final six they played including a sweep of the Crew at Miller Park.

The Brewers played the Phillies at home and lost three of four.

You also could add the fact that the Cards won the series not too long ago and that many players that were on that team, are still there. Also, Tony La Russa is the worst, but he’s a good manager.

Sure, maybe the Cardinals shouldn’t have beaten the Brewers so soundly, but they definitely should have beaten us.

Really, I should be surprised that we even won a game. I let my overwhelming hope override my sense of judgment. In other words, I was a fan. A stupid, stupid, mentally ill fan.

Terrible pitching

If you would have told me that the best pitcher in the previous series was going to be Randy Wolf, I would have finished this cliché. OK, Gallardo was fine in his one start, but Grienke was not good.

Sure, he only had two earned runs in his final start, but he allowed nine base runners in less than six innings. In his opening win, he owed it to the offense as he
gave up 6 runs.

Do I even need to talk about Marcum? C’mon, I’ll do anything. I’ll fight a bear or jam a hot poker in my eye. I’ll even talk to Ann Coulter. Anything … fine, I’ll do it. He had an ERA of 14.9, which includes his one start against the D-Backs.

He gave up four home runs. I could have hit him. My dog could have hit him. He was poop. The end.

This pitching lessens my annoyance with a certain first basemen.

 I’m not that upset with Prince Fielder believe it or not.

Yes, he had an incredibly poor NLCS. I think the Vikings inspired him or something. That Vikings jokes was as lazy as Prince Fielder seemed to be. Or as lazy as the Vikings (I’m done)!

He went 3 for 6 after the first two games, but in the final four he had just one hit out of 14. This is a potential MVP and he was definitely not valuable in this series (God, what a GREAT line. You can call me Mr. Pulitzer).

He was not the only one to struggle on offense, though and again, we would have had to score a LOT a game to overcome our pitching.

Also, I don’t feel like getting that worked up over a guy who played so well for us over the years.

And yes, he’s probably done in Milwaukee, but I’m not even that upset that he may go to greener pastures. You know, idyllic pastures made entirely of money. I think he deserves it.

It will be awful if he goes to the Chicago Theo Epsteins, because that would be a slap in the face, nay, the soul to the Brewers. Only then will I feel chagrined.

Anywhere outside the division would be fine though.

Maybe he won’t go, but that seems unlikely.

In fact, I’m OK with the Brewers as a whole right now. Which is weird, because we may be in for some struggles after this year. Possibly even Bucks-like struggles.

I’m fine with all of this because we had a great year. We haven’t been this good in a while and it was just nice to be able to watch them without having nausea.

OK, I’m going to stop typing before I realize that I should be agitated. I feel younger than my 65 years right now and I want it to stay that way.

Oh, and one more thing: Go Rangers!