Quite Ericly

Story by Eric Christenson

 

Let me just start by saying that I’m probably not as knowledgeable as Frank is about fantasy football. I haven’t been playing as long, I don’t listen to fantasy podcasts on my way to class and I don’t constantly brag about my team.

 

But here’s one thing that’s a fact: the Bert Macklins (my team) are better than the Frankfurters (Frank’s team). There’s no debate. Now, it’s officially in print. Take that, Frank!

 

Frank’s like the Frodo to my Sam. He might know more and be a little smarter about things, but he’s also going to make rash decisions that ultimately decide his own defeat and I’m going to save the day at the end of all things because of my humble dedication to my own team.

 

Last week, Frank said that he was glad to get rid of Chris Johnson. Now, let me be frank Eric, I couldn’t care less about Chris Johnson, but I will say this: he’s on the rise. Frank off-loaded him at completely the wrong time (especially when Johnson outscored Adrian Peterson, even without a touchdown). I understand you get frustrated with guys under-performing, but if you want reassurance in keeping them around, just look at Arian Foster’s week four performance.

 

In another league, Arian Foster is literally my team’s only shining light. Which means prior to last week, MY TEAM HAD NO SHINING LIGHT. And it’s an 11-person league, so the waivers are completely picked over and no one will trade anything for any of my crappy players. So I had no choice but to wait it out and now, it’s paying off handsomely as Foster’s going to be ridiculously good again and hopefully for a long time!

 

The same thing is happening with Chris Johnson, it looks like. He’s now had the equivalent of a preseason warm up and now, he’s raring to get a ton of yards, but not for the Frankfurters. The Tracy Chapman Fast Cars now have that luxury.

 

Also, last week Frank brought up a little trade he and I made after week one where he traded me Dwayne Bowe. Frank’s pretending that Bowe’s not the only thing that the terrible, terrible Kansas City Chiefs squad has. They’re awful, but Bowe’s still good with sex.

 

And if the Chiefs are going to be constantly playing from behind (which they definitely are) with absolutely no running game, they’re going to give it to Bowe because that’s literally their only choice.

 

And he’s done well for his Fantasy owners thus far and he’s only getting better.

 

So no, I DO NOT regret trading for Bowe. In fact, I’m very satisfied with him.

 

After Miles Austin’s crazy week 2, he was out with a hamstring injury, so I was needin’ another WR. Somehow, I was able to pick up Brandon Lloyd after he was dropped due to his groin injury and Eric Decker’s huge game and he was only playing fine, but now he’s putting up excellent numbers. With Decker taking half the looks, defenses have to take the spotlight off of Lloyd and he (unfortunately, bittersweetly) destroyed the Packers secondary, putting up 136 yards on 8 catches. He’s a weapon again, for the Broncos… AND the Bert Macklins.

 

So what I’m getting at is BE SATISFIED with your guys. If you know they’re good, but they’re not putting up the numbers, just wait. Just hang on a little longer. Maybe you’ll be sick to your stomach some weeks, but it’ll pay off when a player no one wanted has a phenomenal week and the bragging rights are all yours.