The official student newspaper of University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire since 1923.

The Spectator

The official student newspaper of University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire since 1923.

The Spectator

The official student newspaper of University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire since 1923.

The Spectator

    Rosenberry Crunch: One-timers and elusive dekes

    This batch of warm temperatures makes it hard to imagine that the NHL is underway.

    This season will hopefully be another good one. If it’s not, I’m going to … well, I don’t know what I’ll do; probably nothing, but boy I’ll be disappointed. I’ll be unbearably chagrined.

    As you’re watching this great (fingers crossed) season unfold, there are several things for you to take note of.

    1. Chicago will struggle without Antti Niemi

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    I have no idea why they gave up their Stanley Cup winning goaltender who was great last postseason. Did he listen to bad music? Did he drink all of the milk and forget to buy more?

    I just don’t know.

    This seems like a horrible idea especially considering they didn’t improve at goaltender. They won’t miss the playoffs, but they made the season much easier for the Wings. Speaking of the Wings …

    2. …Detroit is back.

    It fills me with a great measure of joy to say that. I was born in Michigan and so were my mother, aunt, grandparents and so on. I’m obligated if nothing else to love the Red Wings

    My Michigan blood shines bright, bright red. Okay, everybody’s blood is red when oxygenated, but I’m telling you, it’s really bright guys and gals.

    If they can get solid goaltending, they can ride The Mule, Datysuk and Lidstrom to victory. The addition of Madono was solid as well. If the top players can stay healthy this year as opposed to last, they can lift that large cup yet again.

    I’m sorry to the majority of you who hate this team. Okay, I’m not, but I feel like we can still be friends.

    3. Toronto will make the playoffs

    Staying in the Original six, let’s talk about Toronto. They will now have a full season to play with all of the additions they garnered last season including a rejuvenated Jean-Sebastien Giguere.

    With high scoring Phil Kessel, a solid group of defenders, and most of a province behind them, they will be a team to be reckoned with this year.

    4. This will help make the Eastern Conference a mess

    Tampa Bay will also be good this year, which will take points away from Washington. Philly, a team that made the finals last year, will be good again and will do better than eighth this year.

    Boston has a team stacked with names. Even the Islanders wont be as bad. This is a conference that may be 11 teams deep. It’s madness, complete and utter madness.

    Phew, I need to go to take a nap.

    5. Crosby is good, but man is he annoying

    Okay, I’m awake just in time to discuss Sidney Crosby. He is immensely talented at two things: hockey and complaining about hockey.

    The guy got annoyed last year when Ovechkin got a hat trick and the fans threw hats on the ice. Is he aware of what a hat is?

    He complains often at the officials and when you add the fact that he gets the Lebron treatment from commentators (that’s Messiah like worship for a layman), Crosby becomes unbearable.

    Look for this to continue this year, the next year and for as long as humans still measure time.

    6. Stamkos of the Lightning is the man

    Now, here is a guy who may lead the league in goals this year. He dramatically improved from his rookie year last year with 49 more points and a total of 52 goals.

    Who knows what he’ll do this year? Oh, and another thing, dude is 20! Excuse me while I go cry and eat a pint of ice cream in the bathroom (Right fellas?).

    7. Luongo is an overrated goaltender

    Okay, so the guy is good. Possibly very good, but he has not been excellent in the postseason.

    Last year he had a 3.23 goals against average which made him the 20th best goalie in the postseason. He seems to play very inconsistent at times, which is very frustrating considering how good his team is now.

    8. Who’s going to win the Cup?

    I’m somewhat biased when it comes to this, but I think that Detroit will come out of the Western Conference and Boston will come out of the Eastern Conference.

    Both teams have a lot of experience and very solid players. They also have a toughness that is needed in the playoffs. You saw what the hateable Chris Pronger did for the Flyers last season.

    Ultimately, I do have the Red Wings hoisting that ridiculously large cup. You can say to me,”You’re biased!” or “You’re a terrible homer!” or “I don’t much care for your face!”, but the Wings have a lot of talent both playing the game and coaching it.

    Once again, I’m sorry, but this team can easily win that impractically large cup. Personally, that would be the perfect cap to a great season.

    I’ll just continue to keep my fingers crossed.

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    Rosenberry Crunch: One-timers and elusive dekes