The official student newspaper of University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire since 1923.

The Spectator

The official student newspaper of University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire since 1923.

The Spectator

The official student newspaper of University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire since 1923.

The Spectator

    Never start a day without the Crunch

    I have loved sports for a very long time. I’ll stop short of saying that I’ve loved them my whole life, because that would be a lie.

    As a toddler, I’m sure that I had other things on my mind, such as licking telephone wires and eating pennies. Even when I played soccer, as most everyone did, I don’t think I enjoyed sports yet. I think playing soccer only proved that I had a deep, unmitigated love of snacks.

    No, I didn’t love sports until after my seventh birthday. It was January of 1996 when this love hit me, and it hit me hard. It took the form of tears. Many, many tears.

    What sadistic jerk makes a seven-year-old boy cry?

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    The culprit was the Dallas Cowboys when they defeated my Green Bay Packers. Dallas had no right to do this and the injustice of the whole thing completely overcame me.

    I exploded into a mix of sadness, anger and frustration. This defeat completely crushed me and there was no returning from it. That is until the Packers won the Super Bowl the next year.

    This seesaw of emotions propelled me to have an interest in sports. The drama of not knowing exactly what a game’s outcome will be has always drawn me in, despite the inherent stress of it all.

    My interest has only expanded since the Packer’s Super Bowl win.

    I enjoy most any sport or semi-sport. You name it, and I’ll be interested in it assuming I’ve heard of it. And, if I haven’t, then I will probably like it after I learn about it.

    I have watched entire matches of darts and billiards on ESPN, which is akin to announcing that you eat glue. It’s just not information that you spread around, but there it is.

    If the Ocho from Dodgeball were real, I would spend all of my glossy-eyed days perched in front of the TV.

    I watch the Brewers, though I’m not even completely sure what they are doing can always be considered a sport.

    I played sports even when I wasn’t very skilled at them such as basketball in high school. Well, let me correct that, I practiced basketball in high school. I dominated the lay-up drill, let me tell you.

    I left the playing to far more qualified people. I’m a nice guy like that.

    It was frustrating to know exactly how to play, but be completely unable to execute it once on the court.

    My brain would give my body directions and my body would give my brain the finger. Somehow finding enjoyment in something you aren’t good at has got to be love, though some of you may just call it denial.

    I have always been able to rely on sports as a distraction as well. Whenever I have had personal issues or need a brief distraction from bad news in general, I have used sports as that distraction.

    Obviously, sports haven’t been the only coping mechanism as it will never replace the help that people can provide, but it has certainly be influential.

    Sports are in no way my only interest, and they are not my entire life, but they have been with me for longer than any of my current interests, and I hope to show this in my writing.

    Don’t worry, I’ll keep the crying to a minimum.

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    Never start a day without the Crunch