Ask Anything

October 26, 2005

If you were a hot dog, would you eat yourself?
– Ralph Relish

I believe you are referring to the Will Ferrell-playing-Harry Caray skit in which he asks the same question.

In short, the answer is no. I’ll have to disagree with the legendary Caray here.

First of all, no one really is quite sure what hot dogs are made of. What would be inside me? A bunch of pig extremities with some leftover fish remnants from McDonald’s Fish Fillets?

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That’s not to say I don’t enjoy hot dogs. Heck, my dad makes them for a living, and they’re delicious. However, I would not lather myself up with mustard and bite in.

I hold the Caray in great esteem. Legend has it the WGN broadcaster, during the Cubs’ 1989 playoff run, averaged 25 Budweisers a game. He really sets a high standard for all of us.

We just have a slight disagreement on the contentious hot dog issue.

Sorry for the short Ask Anything today folks. Blame that on the advertising staff for selling so many ads.

Ask anything is a weekly question and advice column. Brian Reisinger and Mark Schaaf are alternating columnists.

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