This is a satirical article and is not meant to be taken seriously. It does not reflect the opinions of The Spectator or UW-Eau Claire.

Finals week is a time when coffee becomes a college student’s best friend, the library becomes their home and textbooks become wet from tears rolling down their face.

For Charlie Buttons, a sophomore English student, finals week is “simply the worst.”

According to Buttons’s roommates, Button struggles with staying focused and tends to procrastinate while studying.

“We wanted to find a way to help him stay on track while studying,” said Benjamin Rogers, a sophomore engineering student and Buttons’s roommate. “I came up with the idea to get him a fidget spinner because I heard those are the new thing and can help people focus.”

Buttons had an English paper due at 11:59 p.m., so he went to the library at 5 p.m. to begin typing it up, he said.

After he got to the library, he said he logged into the campus computer, fidget spinner in hand, and started typing away.

“I didn’t really know what I was writing about, but I felt that as long as I had words on paper, I could at least pass the class,” Buttons said.

It was 11:30 p.m. and Buttons said he was finishing up his final words on the importance of rhetoric when all the overhead lights shut off and the computer he was working on went black.

His jaw dropped and he sat there staring at the screen in disbelief.

Buttons said screams filled the library from every student who was working on one of the campus computers.

A campus blackout occurred, and the power went out in every building on campus.

Upset students filled the dean’s office with phone calls asking for answers on what they should do because they had projects due in 29 minutes.

Chancellor James C. Schmidt released a statement at 11:50 p.m. answering the concerned student’s questions.

“I am sorry for any inconveniences, but due to the campus blackout, finals week will have to be postponed until Saturday, Dec. 23,” Schmidt said.

In the email, Schmidt said he had spoken to the campus electrician and they said campus would be without power for the following 24 hours.

“Any exams scheduled for Wednesday are now postponed until Saturday,” Schmidt said. “I know no one wants to come to school on a Saturday, let alone the day before Christmas Eve, but we have no other choice.”

Students were not happy with the decision.

Buttons was surprised the university could even make such a rule.

“This is completely unfair,” Buttons said. “I am not going to come in on a Saturday to take a final I was supposed to have finished tomorrow. It is not my fault that the campus had a blackout. The university should have better protocol for these kind of situations.”

Schmidt said he was concerned students wouldn’t show up to their finals on Saturday so he spoke with the professors and they all came to an agreement. Any student who doesn’t attend their exam period on Saturday, will automatically fail the course, Schmidt said.

“This is just preposterous,” Abbie Jensen, a senior early education student, said. “I live in Indiana and was supposed to fly home early Saturday morning. Now what am I going to do?”

With Christmas just around the corner, UW-Eau Claire students are not in the Christmas mood. If they want to pass their classes, it is mandatory for them to attend their finals on Saturday.