Niagaras New Girl

Learning how guys deal with roommate drama

More stories from Lauren Kritter

Niagaras New Girl

A conversation I had with a friend the other night brought me back to the days of living in my old house with my five female roommates.

My friend was having problems with her roommates because she hadn’t done her dishes. So really nothing out of the ordinary for roommate problems, but nonetheless, it caused a dilemma in their household.

My friend decided to confide in me, a third party person, about how her roommate made her feel. Although I do believe venting can help calm you down before addressing the actual person, I also think it takes away some of the realness of what you want to address with them.

Girls are notoriously known as the dramatic gender, and although I hate to agree with that statement, I do to an extent. We take things a little more personally and overreact to little issues that could be solved with simple communication. That’s our downfall: direct communication.

Girls would rather talk to the rest of the house about a problem related to the left out roommate instead of talking to them directly. (I’m not saying this holds true for all girls but I definitely experienced this in my house last year.)

The passive aggressiveness inside the four walls of my house last year was too real and caused our small issues to grow exponentially the longer we refused to address the problem or person directly.

Moving in with the boys brought about a different tactic. I had never experienced such straightforwardness  before and it scared me. Any time there was an issue, the roommate at fault was called out to get their act together, whether it be doing their dishes or cleaning up the mess they made in the living room the night before.

Because the guys would flat out say what they wanted to be done, it came off as mean and almost embarrassing to me when I was the one getting ripped on. I felt it put awkward tension in our house ,which made me feel uncomfortable.

I eventually realized this is simply how boys go about addressing their problems. I would later find them all hanging out playing video games together like the best of friends, as if the tension that morning might as well have been a figment of my imagination.

Although I mentioned earlier that I believe girls are the more dramatic gender, this is me stating that boys are just as dramatic in their own way. Yeah, girls might not tell each other exactly what they want, which causes little problems to escalate, but guys scream about their problems like the world will end if the living room isn’t vacuumed immediately.

My past two living situations have not only shown me a major difference between guys and girls, but has also taught me how to stand up for myself in and outside of my house. Because of this, I’m starting to learn how to ask for what I want and not let people walk all over me.

I know I was victim to this a lot last year and have myself to blame for getting involved in those types of situations. Living with the guys this year has helped me become a stronger person, which I have their sometimes over dramatic tactics to thank for. Obviously balance is key.

A simple problem should be solved with a simple solution. It’s not rocket science and I challenge other girls out there to try it out.

No one likes a gossiper, so you might as well say it how it is instead of passive aggressively leaving your roommate blinded from how you actually feel. I promise it will save you a lot of time and stress in the long run.