Can mothers and daughters ever truly be best friends?

True best friends have known each other since birth



Staff Writer Sami West and her mom in 2000 at a family wedding.

Story by Sami West, Staff Writer

Few bonds are as special as the one between mother and daughter.

My mom is my best friend. It simply seems natural to me. She’s the person who cared for me even before birth. Why wouldn’t we be close? She’s the one I can completely be myself with — the one person I know will always be there for me, no matter what happens.

On top of it all, my mom is an inspiration to me. Every day I feel lucky to know such a beautiful woman inside and out. She makes me a better person, gives me the best advice, encourages me, makes me laugh and never fails to let me know when I’m making poor decisions.

I realize our relationship is an anomaly of sorts. Most girls I know only see or talk to their moms when absolutely necessary. I, on the other hand, see and talk to my mom as often as possible.

That’s not to say our relationship has ever been, or ever will be, perfect. During my teenage mood swings I would often recognize my mom as my best friend in one second and the next swear her my enemy who seeks only to ruin my life.

Still, we’ve made it through our ups and downs. My mom remains my best friend as well as an effective parent through the years. Particularly in my newfound adulthood, our friendship has become much easier.

Freshman English education major Emily Mattson agrees.

“I feel like the older you get, the more your mom can be your friend,” Mattson said. “When you become older, your mom has already established her authority.”

According to “Psychology Today”, the mother-daughter relationship is among the most resilient of relationships, which is why it is so valuable during both adolescence and adulthood. In another study, 88 percent of adults say their mother had a positive influence on them throughout their lives.

Many articles regarding the complexities of mother-daughter relationships, however, state mothers and daughters should not be friends. They claim a friendship could never exist due to the fact that mothers and daughters will never be “on the same level.” They disregard the existence of friendships to simply between peers. Are friendships between people in two different stages of their lives impossible? Not in the slightest.

While my mom is my best friend, I respect her as an authority figure. She is still my mom, but the bond we share is much deeper. My mom doesn’t try to act my age — instead, she shares motherly advice she can give from her own experience.

“As you start to become more independent as an adult, you get to be more on your mom’s level,” Mattson said. “Your mom should never be trying to act like you, but you probably are starting to act like your mom.”

As long as your mom is not sharing boys with you and supporting poor life choices like other typical peer best friends, I see nothing wrong with feeling comfortable talking to your mom as not just an authority figure, but a trusted confidant.

Freshman Caitlin Toraason said maintaining a balance is important.

“My mom can be my best friend, but she’s always been able to uphold her role as my mother. She’s not like Regina George’s mom,” said Toraason. “But she’s just right there in the middle of ‘cool’ mom and ‘strict’ mom.”

So instead of simply viewing your mom as an authority figure, realize she’s a person, too. Often times she’s gone through the same things you’re going through, and chances are, she has absolutely precious advice and personal life experiences to share with you. Cherish your bond, and give your mom the chance to be not only a great mom, but a great friend.