Albrent’s Believe it or Not

Story by Emily Albrent, Op/Ed Editor

           More cheese, please 


You know what Wisconsin needs more of? Cheese.

If you’re like me, you know that cheese is awesome and needs to be consumed on the daily.

There will be a grilled cheese contest coming to Southwestern Wisconsin. And this isn’t just fun and games, this is for real, guys. It’s getting serious.

It will be held on April 27 in Mineral Point. I’m not finding any set time for this to happen, but trust, there is always time for grilled cheese. The competition has many different divisions, so you aren’t just being set up with a professional cheese connoisseur, if there are such things. And I hope there are. New job path? Get at me.

The divisions for this championship are amateurs, professionals and young chefs aged 12-18 years old. I would rank myself an amateur at making them but a professional at eating them. That’s acceptable right?

The sandwiches presented to the judges (I want to be one) will be judged on taste, presentation and style.  It’s like a real life “Top Chef.” Entry fees are $10 for amateurs and young chefs and $20 for professionals. OK. That makes no sense. Cheese is cheese. Let’s get real, Wisconsin.


Cage my heart 


It’s all about the Cage.  Let’s take everybody’s obsession with Nicolas Cage a step further by drawing to attention that   CollegeHumor has put together a petition to award Cage the Declaration of Independence.

I’m sure I could just stop right now, because I know you will all run to the site and sign your name. He deserves it, because for one, his acting is flawless, he has so many different facial expressions, he has a video called, “Nicolas Cage Losing His Sh*t” on YouTube (which you need to watch) and he’s overall just perfect.

I’m not sure how much sarcasm was in the last paragraph, but it was probably a lot. As of now, the petition has 3,526 signatures and they need 96,474 more to reach their goal.

Let’s get this to Obama. I’m sure he will agree that Nic deserves this honor. Our president seems like a chill dude who would support something like this.

Everyone. I’m counting on you. Go here. Do it. Now. Sign your name.