Albrent’s believe it or not

Story by Emily Albrent, Op/Ed Editor

Sasquatch Watch

If you are a believer in the supernatural, be ready to freak the heck out: Big Foot might be real. Oh yeah, I said it. Let’s get out backpacking gear and head out to the snow-capped mountains.

There has been a five year study on the findings of what people think is DNA from something resembling Big Foot.  Texas geneticist Melba Ketchum is positive that her findings are of a real life Sasquatch. Her research was then published in the scientific journal DeNovo Journal of Science, which confirmed her findings.

This is super exciting and I was totally ready to buy my plane ticket to Colorado (well, okay that’s an exaggeration) but then I found out that, unfortunately, this could all be a fraud. It’s kind of like a little inception, like a fake story within a fake story.

I would hate to believe that Big Foot is fake, because there has to be something like that out there. Our world is so big. Also, I am getting tired of people making up things just to get recognition.

It is said that Ketchum might have created the DeNovo Journal of Science website on her own and made it seem like a real life thing. Sad. So, so sad.

An actual journal did agree to publish her findings but then later withdrew because of advice from lawyers. I get it;  not everyone believes in the supernatural, so by publishing these findings in something that actually has credibility, it might lesson that a bit.

But regardless if this lady is a fake or not, I’m not losing hope. Let’s go adventuring.

One life is not enough

Reality TV has it all now. Just when you think you can’t handle another crabby housewife or a fist pumping dude in the club, now you can watch children who think they have had past lives.

I don’t know about you, but this seems like child exploitation. How many more reality TV shows do we have to involve kids in? Honestly, how power hungry/money hungry to families have to be to shove their kids into something like this?

Producers Joke Fincioen and Biagio Messina want to find kids who “have inexplicable memories and experiences of another life.”

In their pilot episode that aired a few months ago, three kids had undergone various steps of recovering memories of their past lives.

Just stop it. I’m sure people have had two lives, or many. I’m not disputing that. But stop trying to make everything into a reality TV show. Not everything is meant to be publically known. Let’s just let children breathe a bit and not have other people messing with their heads, causing them to think things about themselves that may not even be true.

As you can probably tell, my opinion on this show is that the idea sucks and I won’t put up with it.

The smell of death

Fearing a zombie apocalypse? Still? But really… still? I feel like this whole zombie phase just needs to end, but some people are still geared up and ready for it. If you are one of those people, you should probably do yourself a favor and buy this anti-zombie perfume.

There are two different kinds, one for her and one for him. Oh goody. This is like a flashback to that whole Pizza Hut perfume which, honestly, I would buy over this. What does this zombie stuff even smell like?

I’ll tell you. With just one spritz of this stuff you will smell like dried leaves, mushrooms, mildew, earth, moss and, in the ladies’ perfume, a little hint of dregs from the bottom a wine barrel. Yummy.

This will cost you $40 for a 4-ounce bottle, so don’t go spraying that stuff around like it’s your birthday. Save it for when it matters. Now, go back into your bomb shelter.