Albrent’s believe it or not

Story by Emily Albrent, Op/Ed Editor

Pop, Pop, Away

 

A man from Boston was saved from a 30 ft. fall by bubble wrap. That’s right. Bubble wrap. I can’t think of a better way to be saved than by one of the most fun things ever.

I know right now you are envisioning a man falling to his death only to be saved by that clear, oh-so-amazing, pop-able material, but this bubble wrap was an off-white material used to cover scaffolding.

Yeah, not as exciting, but still, the fact that he could have died and didn’t is astounding. He had to be cut out of the bubble wrap by firefighters and was checked into the hospital with shoulder and back injuries.

 

Boozing it up

 

You all know drunk driving is just something you don’t do. It’s dangerous and dumb and stupid. Don’t do it.

Another thing  you shouldn’t do: drive drunk in Walmart … with a motorized shopping cart. Yup. As if Walmart could get
any weirder.

Allegedly, a Florida man named Timothy Carr (haha, Carr, pun) was drinking an alcoholic beverage that he took off of a shelf in the store. As he was speeding around the store, he knocked items off the shelves and created other types of havoc.

He was arrested on charges of disorderly intoxication and retail theft, and since he was previously arrested for retail theft twice, this arrest was a felony.

 

Mystery no more

 

If you’re a big archaeology nerd like me, finding out that King Richard III’s skeleton was dug up in a parking lot was the best news of your life. I must admit, when I found out I almost ran out of class yelling with joy.

And then it sunk in that he was found in a parking lot. That is so sad. He was buried under slabs of cement for freaking ever and no one knew about it. It actually frustrates me that people didn’t excavate the parking lot way before this.

This is HUGE. This is history. This is culture. I am so giddy about this I can’t handle myself. History is going to be rewritten! Okay, I’ll calm down but just so you know … this is huge.

 

Love is in the air

 

What would you do in the name of love?

Let’s just jump right into this. Lesya Toumaniantz of Russia allowed her boyfriend to tattoo his name on her face.  On. Her. Face.

Whoa.

Not only is this crazy, but she got the tattoo the same day they met. A new boyfriend and a new tattoo all in one day? Done.

The two met in an online chatroom and are now engaged.  She said that it is a symbol of their eternal devotion and that one day she would like him to tattoo her whole entire body.

You know what? Good for them. I mean, I would never want to have anything tattooed on my face, but if you’re happy, then who am I to judge.

But I mean … on her face.