I did it.

I gave in to the advertising – I’m sorry. I called Cleo.

I know you’ve all seen the commercials. I just couldn’t help myself. I had to know what lies in my future. For the bargain price of $30 for 32 minutes I received insight into my future through the reading of tarot cards. And I even took notes. How could I resist, I got two minutes free.

So, one day last week after seeing the ad for the 8 millionth time, I picked up my phone and dialed the toll free 800 number. I spent a good half hour just giving the guy on the other end of the line my personal information. My credit card number, zip code, birth date, etc. So once I finally got that taken care of, I was given a 14-digit verification number and another 800 number to call.

I called the number, entered my verification number, listened to a spiel about how I wasn’t really going to get to talk to Cleo, but one of her close psychic friends, who turned out to be just as talented as I would have imagined Cleo to be.

We started our session. To my disbelief, the only thing she asked me was my birth date and went from there. She told me I was a Gemini, and she told me about my sign and asked me if what she was saying was true, I told her “kind of.” Then she went into “reading the cards.”

She told me in her non-Jamaican accent that I’m in college. Okay, from my birth date she could have figured out my age and guessed. She told me that I lived in a house full of girls. Okay, so I have five female roommates, just a coincidence. And we have money problems. What college kids don’t?

So she’s doing pretty good so far, no biggies yet.

She told me that the cards were saying that I’m tired because I work a lot (I have two jobs), and she told me that I should be careful because I might have an accident because I’m tired. And there’s also somebody out there that is jealous of me and out to get me, possibly a roommate. I said thanks for the warning. That’s about the only bad stuff she told me. But why would she want to tell me much bad stuff if I’m paying $30 to talk to her for a half hour?

She told me a lot more about myself, and things that are going to happen. Apparently I’m destined for success, I will soon receive recognition for my hard work, I’m loyal, trustworthy and helpful. Boy, I’m just a great person!

Then we got into the good stuff. Apparently I’m going to have a new love interest within the next two months. Wow, now I’m getting excited. He’s supposed to be a knight-in-shining-armor type, strong and heroic. And I need to hold my temper because it could cause problems in our relationship. Oh, please. Me, have a temper? Well OK, maybe a little.

She gave me insight into the next decade or so of my life. I was told my marriage to my knight in shining armor will be happy, we’ll have money problems, but not too bad, and we’re going to take a trip somewhere on the water.

I can’t wait. And just when we were getting to the really interesting stuff, we were cut off by an annoying voice telling me that my 30 minutes was up, and that if I wanted more minutes, I need to call back.

I think I got my $30 worth. Even if I didn’t get to talk to Cleo; her friend was pretty amusing. Although I’m not quite sure if I believe everything she told me, she could be right.

I’d like to think she was right about the knight-in-shining-armor thing, though. So, Knight in shining armor, if you’re out there, come and get me.