All “Star Wars” fans are geeks. Not just the regular fans, but the ones who own all versions of the Trilogy, have all the Web sites bookmarked and camped outside for “Episode I.”

And I’m proud to be one of them.

Go ahead, say anything you want, but it’s not going to change my opinion on anything. I have to admit, I’ve got the fever. “Episode II” is just a year away.

It’s hard to describe what it’s like to be a “Star Wars” freak, but it must be done. Just so everyone understands.

My typical day begins just before the sun rises. I get up and pay homage to my poster of Yoda and I ask the Force for guidance. From there I put on my cloak and strap my lightsaber onto my belt and head out looking for evil.

It’s usually around 10 a.m. when the police catch up and remind me how I’m not a Jedi and I don’t have any magic powers. I insist the thing on my belt is a stick of laser and not a screwdriver. But they have this whole deal about disturbing the public or something like that.

Anyway, that’s the way it is for a lot of people. OK, so other fans aren’t as messed up as I am, but you get the drift.

“Star Wars” is one of the few movies that motivates its loyal followers to pay respect to a weird-looking green thing with big ears.

But it’s more than that. It’s about spirituality, it’s about hope, it’s about good vs. evil and, most importantly, it’s about fantasy.

It’s a little strange knowing someone like me if you don’t know the ways of the Force.

Sure, there are other ways I could spend my time. I could work on ways to curing diseases or fighting hunger, because I am more than capable of coming up with solutions to world problems. It’s not that I don’t care, because I really do. It’s just that I’d rather spend my time memorizing the middle three minutes of the latest George Lucas interview I taped on the Sci-Fi channel.

And it’s not like “Star Wars” is the only movie that produces weird fans like me. Just look at all the people trying to imitate Tom Hanks in “Turner and Hooch.”

You know who you are. I see people all the time with ugly dogs. Does anyone think these dog owners enjoy the hideousness of their pet?

No way. They’re just imitating their favorite movie.

I’m not alone and neither is “Star Wars.” Movies have an amazing effect on people, and with the addition of such great acting from Jennifer Love Hewitt and Ryan Phillippe, that effect will only become greater. These people are acting gods and should have the respect of everyone in the world.

I’m trying to get better. My morning outbursts have been limited to every other Friday. And I only watch the Trilogy once every other day, instead of every day. But I just can’t help myself.

There’s nothing quite like the movie. The only thing that compares in quality are those lovable Marmaduke cartoons. It always makes me happy to find out what that crazy dog is up to. Always messin’ with the garbage. And you know his master always has a witty comment or two.

I admit to my obsessions, is that so wrong? A lot of people are out there, just like me, ashamed of something they like. But no more. Hey, we can get through this together.

Come on, let’s get this thing started. The revolution of freaks is about to begin and who better than me to lead?

Everyone get your ugly dogs and your inanimate objects ready.

It’s time to freak everybody out.