Fountain’s Five Favorite Found Footage Festival Films

Story by Thom Fountain

Do you like laughing at people? I know you’ll say you don’t and that it’s horrible and mean, but I firmly believe there’s a little schadenfreude in all of us.

The Found Footage Festival, a nationally renowned website and live show, is all about that. Nick Prueher and Joe Pickett, both UW-Eau Claire alumni who founded the project, scour the U.S. for the most awkward, weird, confusing and generally hilarious training videos, public access shows and home movies to post on
foundfootagefestival.com

The duo is bringing their live show to Eau Claire’s Downtown Cinema (315 Barstow St.) next week and, in preparation, I’ve compiled five of my favorite videos:

 

Rock Vocals
In this informative how-to clip, the former bassist of the band Vanilla Fudge (definitely made up) shows us the two most important aspects of singing rock music: holding a note for 20 seconds and singing the word ‘May’. Spoiler: The teacher demonstrates the full 20-second note.


 

Rejuvenique Mask
I’m all about exercise and keeping your body fresh. Apparently, this rejuvenating facial massage mask does just that! Side effects do include scaring the crap out of your family members, however. Spoiler: Despite what you may think, this is not a Jason movie.

 


David Seeks Goddess
This is a classic. Our good friend, your good friend, the world’s good friend David is searching for his goddess and decided to make a dating video. So, he of course wore his best denim jacket, fingerless gloves and bandana, grabbed a red rose and hit the studio to win the hearts of all the women (and possibly men) out there. Spoiler: He breaks the fourth wall. A lot.

 


Mr. Nasty
Don’t you hate it when you really don’t like someone, but you can never think of any good insults for them? Good thing Mr. Nasty’s got your back! Just send this tape of insults to your arch nemesis and Mr. Nasty will tell them off. Spoiler: Don’t try to figure out what these insults mean. They’re way above all our heads.

 


How To Be a Real Man
You know, I like Jesus as much as the next guy. Really, I do. But according to this awesome ’90s commercial, the best way to show your love of Jesus is to get really violent toward your old CDs and friends who represent bad habits. Spoiler: Yeah, he throws a punch.