Two collegiates got together on a Saturday night. Card games and beer were on the agenda, and freshman Michelle Voigt said she figured she was in for a low-key evening with a male acquaintance. But what started out as playful banter and light kissing soon escalated into a terrifying night of sexual assault.
“He kept trying to get in my pants,” Voigt said. Though she repeatedly told him “no,” he insisted on forcing her to do sexual acts, and succeeded in taking things almost to intercourse.
Voigt said she didn’t know the definitions of sexual harassment or sexual assault until after her experience.
Looking back, she said that the night started off with pressure and sexual comments on the part of the man – a clear example of sexual harassment.
But if she had known where the night would end up, she said that she would have stopped the incident before it was taken too far.
A report released in December of 2005 by the American Association of University Women revealed nearly two-thirds of college students experience this mistreatment.
Defining sexual harassment as “unwanted and unwelcome sexual behavior which interferes with your life,” this survey asked students to consider a broad list of examples in the context of their college lives.
Many cases that begin as harassment quickly escalate into something more dangerous and physically harmful – such as in Voigt’s experience – the report found.
There is a very thin line between sexual assault and sexual harassment, said Rebecca Schiltz, a Victims Services Coordinator at the Center for Awareness of Sexual Assault.
She said the difference is found in whether or not unwanted physical contact is involved. Unwelcome touching puts the encounter in the realm of assault.
Sexual harassment, however, can be just as degrading and shameful, she said.
“If someone puts you down enough, you start to believe it,” she said.
Schiltz’s warning is that many comments may seem innocent, but can easily be taken in an offensive manner.
“It’s hard to hear your own words back,” she said.
Erin Polnaszek and Traci Thomas-Card are coordinators for the Women’s and Gender Equity Center, another on-campus organization that deals with sexual issues.
“Sexual comments, personal questions about social or sexual life, ‘cat calls’ or whistling at someone, asking about sexual fantasies, preferences or history, unwanted sexual teasing, unwanted pressure for dates, unwanted telephone calls, letters or e-mails and unwanted pictures of a derogatory manner (are all examples of sexual harassment),” Polnaszek said.
Tina Marko, a junior sociology major, said she could even take “a certain look” as offensive.
“Sexual harassment is anything that a person feels is degrading to them,” she said.
With both sexual harassment and assault, Schiltz said alcohol and drugs can play a major role in how people behave. She said in almost every state, alcohol is listed as a “date rape drug,” which means that sexual assault cases are automatically bumped up to felony status. But Wisconsin is the only state not to classify alcohol this way.
Voigt said with her experience, guys become much more aggressive when they are drinking alcohol.
“It was the combination of arousal (on his part), beer and pressure that played into what happened,” she said. While she describes her own state that night as “a little tipsy,” it was the man’s intoxicated condition which caused things to get out of control.
“(Alcohol) lowers inhibitions, changes your perceptions, and it can be easily given to people,” Schiltz said.
According to the 2004 core alcohol and drug survey, which is given to 1000 Eau Claire students every other year, 10 percent of women and 2 percent of men have been taken advantage of sexually while under the influence.
After a person is sexually harassed, there may be feelings of self-blame, shame and low self-esteem, Schiltz said.
Polnaszek and Thomas-Card agree that grades, relationships and emotions can all be brought down after such an episode.
As for her experience, Voigt said her relationships have definitely been affected.
She said she now has a problem with getting physically close to people – especially guys.
If senior Jenna Helder had a friend that was sexually harassed, she said that she would tell her friend to confront the person right away “so that people know when they actually do it that it is unwanted.”
Schiltz pointed out that men aren’t the only gender to sexually harass others.
“Women can be just as bad,” she said.
While there are different methods, she said that men are more forceful while women may be “sexy and seductive” in front of men.
As far as making sure this does not happen again, Voigt knows from experience that awareness is the best approach.
“If people know how to say no, there will be less (sexual harassment). But the person answering has to have a clear no, otherwise it gives mixed messages.”