Fantasy Virgin might stay virgin forever


Renee Rosenow

Who would have thought that with every week that passed by my fantasy for this sport would decrease so much?

It’s week 11 and we are in eighth place. With only five weeks left to get to playoffs, I don’t think we are going to get there.

Although 280 Snaps & Counting did lose like I hoped, we lost too – 80.61 to 99.95 – against the Kaedings Kids.

I thought we had this victory in the bag because Kaedings forgot to change one of his running backs that was on a bye week and replace him with a running back that was actually playing. I guess that sort of worked for us since we didn’t get crushed as badly as we would have if he would have gotten more points.

As I remember Week 1, when we were first, I have to admit that I was na’ve for thinking our team was strong enough to make it to the playoffs.

The Loose Poopmen finally lost, thanks to Rock n Taint who beat the Poopmen 107.65 to 84.15, making this his second consecutive victory. Although I’m happy that for once the Poopmen lost, I’m jealous because he already “clinched a playoff spot,” according to the little star next to his name in the league’s ranking page.

I’m also wondering how the next four weeks, before playoffs, are going to be. I’m guessing that even if we do win them all, we won’t have enough points to be in the playoffs.

I do know for sure this week we are going to win, because we face the Naughty parts. I shouldn’t be that cocky though, because they did beat the Mustard Lookers in Week 7, so they could beat us too.

But I don’t think so.

Looking at our schedule from Week 1, our team has carried a pattern. We win two games, we lose the next three.

Sad but true.

So this week, since we lost three times in a row now, if we keep going on our pattern we should win.

I know I should make some drastic changes on our team, but I don’t know what those changes could be. For now I’m going to keep looking at the ESPN position rankings for the week and hopefully we’ll be able to improve our ranking.

Lozano is a senior print journalism major and sports editor of The Spectator. “Fantasy Virgin” is a column that appears every Thursday.

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