Dog walks through campus, becomes sensation

Emergency notifications were sent out via email and text message to inform students the stampede was caused from efforts to pet the “good boy”

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A dog walked through campus Monday afternoon, causing students to bolt from their lectures, labs and study groups in a mad dash to pet the animal.

The dog in question, a pitbull named Spitfire who hails from a nearby Eau Claire neighborhood, received the sudden, massive outpouring of love and attention happily, giving puppy kisses to anyone in range and obliging all those who asked to shake his paw.

Buddy’s owner, Kip Bell, said he was completely taken aback by the mob of college students, all of whom were so desperate for Spitfire’s unconditional love, boundless energy and cuddles they effectively halted the walk in its tracks.

“We usually go earlier, around 7 a.m.,” said Bell, “but today we got a late start and, well, I guess now we can see why it’s faster to take a walk before the university wakes up.”

The entire campus mall was jammed up for approximately 30 minutes as students took turns petting and cooing over Spitfire. One student had a tennis ball; the toy produced round after enthusiastic round of fetch, a game at which Spitfire proved to be immensely talented.

“He reminds me of my dog, Junior,” said one student, visibly holding back tears. “Junior is a good boy, too.” The student then excused themselves to go FaceTime with their pet.

The police reported approximately 70-100 people were gathered near the entrance of Davies, contributing to the creation of a pedestrian traffic jam. Campus security was unequipped to deal with the situation, due in part to the sheer number of students as well as the sheer joy radiating from them.

“We just couldn’t break the crowd up,” said David Sprick, the Eau Claire campus police chief. “Kids walking around campus usually look so sad. But when they were in the presence of that dog, their faces just lit up. We didn’t have the heart to tell them to clear out.”

Eventually, the crowd dispersed. Students returned to their classes and Spitfire continued on his walk, a good boy through and through.

In other news, the local Humane Society reported a huge influx of volunteers and adopters the same day as Spitfire’s historic traipse through Eau Claire’s campus.