How to cope when everyone has their life together but you

A survival guide for everyone who’s just trying to get by

More stories from Alyssa Anderson

Getting Weird
December 13, 2018
Anderson+decides+to+focus+on+herself+by+studying+and+working+towards+her+goals+rather+than+obsessing+over+the+accomplishments+of+her+peers.+

Photo by Alyssa Anderson

Anderson decides to focus on herself by studying and working towards her goals rather than obsessing over the accomplishments of her peers.

Every time I log on to Facebook or decide to scroll through my Instagram feed, I more often than not find myself anxiously contemplating my life choices. Whenever I make the fateful decision to open any social media app, I am bombarded by my friends’ successes.

Every day it seems as though one of my friends is getting engaged, taking a life-changing road trip or building a school in Africa.

And what am I doing?

Consistently staying up until 4 a.m. binge watching “Gilmore Girls” and taking Buzzfeed quizzes to find out which Hogwarts house I would be sorted into (I’m a Slytherin, in case you were wondering).

Usually, I am able to accept the fact I am kind of a hot mess. OK, I lied. I’m definitely a hot mess.

Yet, whenever I come across photos of my high school friends climbing Mount Everest or something else equally amazing, I generally succumb to my woes and repeatedly ask myself what I’m doing with my life.

For example, the other day I was casually listening to my roommate describe a friend of hers who recently got a scholarship to study at some ritzy art school in New York City when, all of a sudden, my heart sank.

I spent the remainder of my afternoon moping around my room, listening to angsty music and wondering what in the world I was still doing in the Midwest. I could be traveling the world, getting internships and running half-marathons. But alas, here I am, just trying to get by in this little Wisconsin city.

It took quite a while for me to snap out of my funk. I wasted a good portion of my day either feeling sorry for myself or scoffing at the exciting lives of my Facebook friends who seemed to have it all figured out.

Eventually I did snap out of it. I came to realize I can’t compare myself to others. So what if I’m still stuck in the Midwest? I’m at a good school, working my way up to bigger and better things.

I realized that it’s perfectly okay to not have it all together 100 percent of the time. Even my seemingly perfect Facebook friends are probably just as frazzled as I am sometimes.

What matters is I am working at my goals. I may not be exactly where I want to be right now, but I’ll get there. Even though I spend most of my time these days trying to do the best I can to survive, I’ve finally come to realize life won’t always be this way.

If I continue to work at my goals, I know I will achieve them. Who cares what anyone else is doing? I’m doing exactly what I need to do to achieve my dream. I’ve decided to ignore all the people on social media who used to fill me with jealousy and instead focus on myself. I urge you all to do the same.

You may not have it all together right now, but you’re getting there. Go easy on yourself.